Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Queen of Denial

Confessions of a Disorganized Housewife

 There was a song several years back by the title of Queen of Denial. Cute song. Not so cute when you have to face up to what you are in real life. But yup, that's me. It's not like I'm blind to the state of my house. I can clearly see it. But as a coping mechanism, I have learned not to notice the messiness. When I do see it, I list all the reasons why it is this way:
  --I just can't keep up with J.
 -- I don't feel well.
 -- no one in this family helps me
But the one that rarely comes to light is, I'm overwhelmed.  Yes, I have my lazy moments. Probably more than I care to admit. The truth is, I don't feel well a lot of days. I'm tired because of the anemia. And the depression. Yep, that little monster still rears its ugly head sometimes. I fight it, I ignore it, but it's there.  And yes, my two favorite guys in the world are slobs like me. And J does wear me out. While I'm cleaning one room he's in another room messing up. 
  But you know what? I'm working on it. One room at a time I'm working on it. I'm thankful this week that I got the answer I've been looking for in the form of Simplemom,net's Project Simplify 2012 that began last week, and www.aslobcomesclean.com .  I decided to take the up the challenge last week, and as I was reading other blogs on Sunday after posting my own, one jumped out at me: A slob comes clean. Nony tickled me with her style of writing and her vlog posts. She showed me that I can change, one step at a time. She made me cry all day today as I read her blog and realized that I'm not alone in this mess. 
  I didn't just cry and read all day, however. I did my dishes, I swept the floor, I did laundry (even managed to put some of it away), threw out trash, and I have three bags waiting to go to the thrift store. 
 My stove is clean. My dishes are done. As soon as J is asleep I plan on putting away more laundry. I look forward to cleaning and decluttering more tomorrow. That's a first in a long, long time.
  This week I'm still the queen of denial. This time however, it's not to tune out all the disorder in my life. It's to help me focus on one area at a time. If I don't put my blinders on I will see everything that needs to be fixed, changed, or decluttered and cleaned and I will become overwhelmed and stop. It's only been a few days but I like the changes I've made. I like the slow but steady progress. And I'm very thankful for it. 
PS: The Hubby came home from work last night, got his dinner, and washed his dishes and made the tea for today. He is my number one cheerleader, encouraging me every step of the way. God blessed me with a truly wonderful 
 Join us for Gratituesday at Heavenly Homemakers!

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