How are you at communication? Do you tell others how you feel? Do you, out of love and concern, take someone aside to discuss a matter that has been brought to your attention? Or do you make a general comment, hoping that the one who needs most to hear those words will get the idea? Furthermore, would you be open to talk about something other than the weather and other "safe" subjects? I'm asking these questions not only of you, the reader, but of myself as well. One who is perfectly content to hide behind the keyboard, so to speak, and let my feelings be known in this manner.
I'm a shy person by nature. I blush when I talk to more than one person at a time unless I've known them for a long while. Even then, my deepest thoughts and feelings are known only to those I deem closest to me -God, my husband, and my sister. Or I pour my heart out in my writings, most of which the world has yet to see.
I've noticed though, an alarming trend in the world, and it has crept into the church to some degree as well. Hiding behind the keyboard or a "general statement" made in a group of people when there is a problem or a perceived problem. A perceived problem is when you misunderstand what a person has said or done. Either way, whether perceived or real, how is the person or persons to whom you were referring, supposed to know that you have issue with the situation unless you speak up? Not to the world at large, but individually.
King James Bible (Cambridge Ed.)
if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault
between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy
brother. Matthew 18:15
I consider this statement to be true even if it isn't necessarily a sin. Sisters and brothers (I know there are a few who read this from time to time), we ought not to be calling out individuals in general. If it is something that a lot of people have been doing then fine. Point out exactly what the problem is and suggest in appropriate ways that it stop. But if your intent is to to truly help someone grow, rather than "read" them from a distance, go to them in private.
I don't know the person well enough. Is she your sister in Christ? That means you are family. Pray about the situation. Discuss it with her. Better yet, get to know her. Speaking as one who would rather hear the truth in love on an individual level when someone is upset with me, it works better this way. The truth may sting a little, but the pain of truth is far easier to take than the thought that you aren't loved enough to hear the truth.
I dont want to hurt her feelings. See above. Don't just come out and say "You're wrong, sister". Discuss it. Say what's on your mind in a loving manner and get her side of things. Go from there.
Ladies, there are numerous reasons why we feel we can't talk one on one with one another. Most are just excuses. The simple truth of the matter is we don't know if we haven't been taught. Throwing a general statement out into the crowd like a fisherman casts his net may catch a few. Sometimes though, to catch "the big one" you have to use a rod and reel.
In closing, I'd like to say this: As a writer, I like having my ears tickled with praise. But I also know that not everyone agrees with what I have to say. Comments are always welcome, good and bad, as long as they are respectful. If you feel the need to contact me privately on a matter, please do. I have an open door policy with my email if you can't find me any other way. Let's Talk!