What Are You Thankful For?

Wow, can you believe we are almost out of January already?  While the north east is digging out of several feet of snow and ice, here I am in the south looking at my weather for the week hoping for peeks of springlike weather already. Indeed, next week some of us will be watching for a certain rodent to predict whether we will have an early spring or six more weeks of winter weather.  I confess I'm one of them...not so much that I believe that a groundhog can tell us that information, but because I love love love warmer weather and the blessings spring brings. Don't get me wrong, I like all of the seasons and what each brings. And in the last day or so, I'm thankful that my friends in the northeastern states are warm and safe despite all the snow they've been getting.

This morning I got the pleasure of sleeping in a bit. Not my favorite thing to do because I tend to get more accomplished when I am up by 7:15 each morning. But this morning I missed my alarm, I'm guessing because I needed the rest. Baby Bear was awake with me and joined me, as he sometimes does, in my "quiet time." He looked at me, shivered a bit in the cooler morning air, and said "Cold." This Mama's heart rejoiced. He communicated with me! I was so proud of him. I love those moments of clarity when he can use words to tell me what's going on his world. Yes, i am very thankful for that. I believe he was thankful that I brought him a blanket to cuddle up in, too. 

As I read today's bible passages (Luke 22:39-71; Genesis 40; Psalm 31; and Proverbs 28, in case you're interested) I became aware of lessons that hadn't really occurred to me before. I'm not comfortable sharing those just yet, but I am thankful to still live in a country where I am free to read and study God's word, and take to heart what he wants to teach me each day. I feel sad that on so many occasions I've neglected to pick up that precious book (or in today's world, bring it up on the screen) and immerse myself in it.  A meme on Facebook said it perfectly: The Bible is meant to be bread for daily consumption, not cake for special occasions.

I could come up with more that I'm thankful for: my husband, who traded places with me so I could go into the bedroom to finish my quiet time in, well, quiet this morning. My brother, who has helped out so much and taught me so much since moving in with us. But i have a young man who wants attention. I'm thankful he's in a good mood this morning, and I pray it continues. It means he's in good health. Now, what about you? What are you thankful for this morning? 

Older pictures of me and my boys. I am thankful for these guys all the time.

One Goal at a Time: Bible Study and Housework

 


Y'all, if I believed in signs and wonders I'd be wondering if time was going to stop.  I say that in jest, of course.  I'm in a good mood this morning and I'm writing again. What I would like to do is get back to posting here on the blog more often, but I'll take it one step at a time.

Since the last week or so of December I've been changing a few things in my life. I've wanted to talk about those things here, but I've been hesitant to do so, given my flaky background. I'm a great starter, but not always a great finisher, you know?

Like a lot of people, once Christmas was over, I started thinking about the new year and what i wanted to do with it. I usually have a list as long as my arm of things I want to try or do. This time I decided to focus on just one thing: Bible study. I've started that in years past and have only gotten so far before I let life get in the way. Even discussing here at Home only lasted for a little while. But I've never read the bible in its entirety before and that's what I focused on. Thanks to something I saw on Pinterest I checked out www.bible.com.  They have many different reading plans that last from a day or two to all year. Some focus on single topics such as Anger, others take you through the bible in a year's time. I chose one of the latter, as well as a few smaller topics to tackle. That seemed to be a little much for me so currently I read in Proverbs as well as the readings for the bible in a year.  I'm happy to report that I've been doing this for 29 days now. I read the passages online but I have a notebook by my side to write down observations, questions, and such. 

It's been rather humbling to begin this journey once again. I'm noticing things that I hadn't before, even in "stories" that are familiar to me. I find myself talking to my husband about what I've read. And it's helped me with my word of the year:Patience. More on that later, if you'd like.

Strange thing about focusing on one thing at a time and making that a habit; it flows into other parts of life as well. If you've read any of my Confessions of a Disorganized Housewife  posts you know that it's a continual struggle for me. When my brother moved in last August I worked hard at it and grew increasingly frustrated. Finally early this month I sat down and wrote out a chore list for each member of the family. The dishes, for example, are done by Bobby and me. I do breakfast and lunch, he does the supper ones. And I'm happy to say that it works so far. I still have a long way to go in making sure that all of the housework is getting done in a timely manner, but the dishes are done after each meal without fail (okay, it failed once --but we caught up at the next meal). Three of our public rooms are kept up better, if not perfectly the way I want them. It's a work in progress.  

Well, there you have it. That's my goal this year, one thing at a time. I have much more to talk about and it's my plan to write a bit more this week. How has your year started out? Do you have goals and plans you're working on? I'd love to hear from you. Although I may not always answer I do read and enjoy your comments.


 

I Blew It: A Lesson in Anger and Patience

Hey, Want to know a secret? Come here. Closer. Ready?


I'm not perfect.


I know, right? Shocking. Or not so much. I am a human. I make mistakes.  I sin. I yell at the top of my lungs in front of the people I love most in this world. And i feel like a world class heel.

Remember the Looney Tunes characters when they get mad? Yeah, that was me. I'm not proud of it. There are all kinds of excuses. It's Monday. I was hungry. Blah blah blah. 
   The truth of the matter is I let stress and anger get the better of me and I blew my top. Two people were in tears and everyone in the house was stressed. 

The King James bible says in James 3:8,  But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.

Anger is as contagious as the measles. One person goes off the deep end, others follow. It isn't pretty. What gets me is I've been studying about anger and patience in my quiet time. I've been praying about it. I've been trying to learn the lessons God would have me to learn. I'm trying to see this morning's screamfest not as abject failure, but, as a friend touched on yesterday, a moment of clarity. 

One of the verses that stood out to me in today's study was Luke 11:40

Be ye therefore ready also; for the Son of man cometh at an hour when ye think not. 

While that verse actually means to have yourself ready spiritually when Christ comes for his bride, I think it can also be applied to not letting your guard down when it comes to sin.

The bible tells us  
Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:  1 Peter 5:8
  The end result of the big blow up?  I apologized, the offended party apologized, and we hugged. I still feel like a world class heel, but maybe that's a good thing right now. It's like a mental spanking. That sting can remind me to hold my tongue and speak more calmly next time.

A Morning Cup of Tea: A Study of Ruth part 4

Well, it's past morning, but today was not a regular day. I think that's okay sometimes. Right now I'm just enjoying hearing my happy boy. I am so thankful for days like today --busy but easy and fun. He's had such an awesome day, I hope it stays like that all day. I love when things work out.

  Because of Ruth's love for Naomi and her faith, things worked out there as well. Boaz gave the opportunity to buy the land and take Ruth as wife to the nearer kinsman, who turned it down. Boaz took her to wife, with the blessing of the elders. Ruth gave birth to a son, Obed, who would be the heir for Elimelech and his son, and also was the father of Jesse, who was the father of king David, and thus, part of the lineage of Jesus.
  When we take the time to pray and follow God's path for us, things work out so much better. It may not always be easy, as in the case of Naomi and Ruth;for a time they had no male heirs to take care of them or inherit, but they were taken care of in the end. All according to God's plan. I think this is one of my favorite lessons in the bible, yet I'm still learning to follow.

A Morning Cup of Tea: A Study of Ruth Part 3

Good morning! It's a beautiful, rainy Lord's day today and I'm here at home. Not exactly where I want to be, but there isn't much help in it today.

Because it's Sunday and this is a day for worship and family, I'm keeping this short and sweet.

Today we are in chapter 3 of Ruth. Ruth has been gleaning from fields that Boaz, relative of her dead Father in law, owns. He has made it clear to his workers that she is not to be bothered and has sent her home with extra grain.  Ruth has shown she loves Naomi and wants to do well by her. She certainly could have listened to Naomi in the beginning and gone back to her family, but she chose to be with her Mother in law.
     Naomi wants to do well by her daughter in law as well. She knows that Boaz is a relative and she's seen that he is kind to Ruth. Law at this time indicates that if a woman is left a childless widow, then the brother of her husband can marry her so as to continue the family line. If there is no brother, then the next closest relative can fulfill this duty. Ruth is young still and Naomi wants her taken care of, so she tells the young girl to bathe and get dressed --make yourself pretty!--and go down to the threshing floor where Boaz will be. Don't let him know you're down there though. When Boaz goes to lie down, watch where he goes. Then later go lie down at his feet.
   Ruth obeys Naomi. She went in and lay at the man's feet. He wakes up, alarmed that someone is near him, but she tells him who she is. He cares enough for her that he wants to protect her. He tells her that there is one who is a closer relative and could marry her. However, if this one will not, Boaz will. He allows her to sleep where she is, but before dawn, so that no one sees her, she wakes and goes home. Before she leaves, he gives her six measures of barley to take home. Ruth takes the barley to Naomi, who assures her that she will have an answer before the end of the day.

What are your thoughts on Ruth?    
 

A Morning Cup of Tea: A Study of Ruth part 2

Good morning! We are looking at chapter 2 of Ruth today. If you missed yesterday's post you can find it here.   

Ruth is now in Bethlehem with her mother in law, Naomi. Because they are both widows and have no male children to provide for them, it's up to Ruth to go out to the fields to glean from the harvest so they would be able to eat. God had commanded his people to leave the corners of the fields when harvesting so that poorer families could come in and take  what they needed. 
   It turned out that the field Ruth ended up at belonged to Boaz, who was related to Elimelech, Ruth's deceased Father in law. Once he found out who Ruth was, he instructed his workers to let her alone, and even told them to 'drop' some of the barley so she could get to it. He wanted her to have plenty to take home with her. And at dinner time she was given food so that she would not go home hungry.
   Ruth asked Boaz why he was so kind to her. His reply was that because she trusted God enough to come to a land that was unfamiliar to her so that she could continue to care for her mother in law, she was being rewarded. 
  In our own lives, we may not know what is in store for ourselves, whether we go to a foreign land or step out in faith to do something that is pressed upon our hearts. If we trust God, he will take care of us.    

A Morning Cup of Tea: Studying Ruth

Good morning! For the third day of spring, it's a bit chilly here, but that's about par for the course I think. Even so I take my walks and see the trees and bushes in the neighbors' yards blooming, and I see the yellow-green pollen ...everywhere...and I make the allergy medicine makers very happy this time of year. Still though, I enjoy it. I know that warmer weather is just around the corner and will settle in and stay a good long while.
   It took me a little while to settle my men enough to think about this morning's writing, and then I had to settle on what I wanted to study. I decided on Ruth this time because it's a book in the bible that I've read, but haven't really taken time with, and also, I have wanted for awhile now to look at the women of the bible. I'm kind of hop scotching around as I feel my way through this, but bear with me, please. I think there is much to learn from the ladies of the bible, both good and bad. There will be some, such as Ruth and Esther, where we look at the whole book and the story that surrounds them, and many where we look at the verses in which they are mentioned to get at what they have to teach. I do hope you'll join me.

   In the book of Ruth, there are two ladies that get our attention: Ruth of course, and her mother in law, Naomi. Today we are focusing on chapter one.

Naomi and Ruth and their family lived during the time that judges ruled Israel. There happened to be a famine, and Elimelech took his wife, Naomi, and their two sons, Mahlon and Chilion, to live in Moab.  Elimelech died there, and the two sons married Orpah and Ruth. After awhile the two sons died as well. 
  In today's world women have many options. We can work outside the home and have been taught by society to take care of ourselves. In some cases, there is government assistance if the woman has young children and the father is not around, for whatever reason. There is always somewhere we can turn if our husband were to die. Naomi, Orpah and Ruth didn't have those choices. There was no government help and women, as a rule, did not work. They depended solely on their father, brother, husband or son to provide for them.
  Let's look at Naomi. Here she is in a foreign land because her husband brought her there. He died, leaving her with two sons who eventually married Moabitess women, but they too died, leaving three widows this time. Naomi is quite bitter, as we see in verse 20, when she tells her people that she doesn't want to be called Naomi. Call me Mara. God has treated me badly.
   She has been dealt a rather harsh hand, it seems, and she is angry. Probably scared as well. Things are looking up in Israel plus she has family there still. She is done with Moab and wants to go home.
   Knowing what she went through, and possibly figuring that it's going to be harder to take care of three women's needs while traveling and settling in back at Bethlehem, Naomi tells Orpah and Ruth to go back to their family homes.
  It's not an easy choice for either of the young ladies, after living with Naomi for awhile, and they both cry and protest. Naomi tells them she's too old to remarry, and even if she did, what were they going to do, sit around and wait for any sons born in the new marriage to grow up so they could marry? No, it would be best for Orpah and Ruth to go back to their families. Orpah went back, but Ruth was steadfast. 
  16. And Ruth said, Intreat me not to leave thee, or to return from following after thee: for whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge; thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God.
    Ruth is a young woman. Being a Moabitess she didn't grow up serving the Lord as Naomi did. She learned all this when she married Naomi's son. She could have gone back to her childhood home and gone back to all she knew, but her love of Naomi and love of God (I'm guessing here, since she said your God will be my God) showed through in her decision to continue with her mother in law.  She does not know what is in store for her in Bethlehem, but she is determined to stay with Naomi. This tells so much strength Ruth has.
   We will leave the story today as Naomi and Ruth together travel back to Bethlehem. I'd love to hear your thoughts on this lesson.           

A Morning Cup of Tea: The Power of the Persistence of Prayer

Please read Luke 18: 1-8.

Jesus used the parable of the widow woman to teach about the persistence of prayer. The widow in the story went to the judge time after time after time with her petition. He wasn't about to help her at first, but she did not give up. The judge did not believe in God, yet finally helped her. God indeed hears our pleas from the beginning, but sometimes the answer does not come right then. 
   Don't give up. Continually praying about something shows our continued dependence on the Lord. We should also remember that with God there is no time, and He answers prayer in his own timing. If we trust in him, our prayers will be answered. I know for me, I want things fixed right away. Patience isn't something I'm strong on. At least, not as strong as I'd like to be, so it's not easy waiting on an answer. 
  This was part of our bible study lesson last night as we study Elijah. In I Kings 18, after the proof that Baal was not the true God, Elijah was on the top of Mount Carmel praying for rain. He prayed several times until a small cloud appeared on the horizon, and he knew God had answered his prayer. 
  In waiting on God to answer our prayers, it can be easy at times to grow frustrated, or want to give up. Don't. Be like the widow woman petitioning the judge. One of the ladies in the class told us one of her favorite verses:

   I have been young, and now am old; yet have I not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his seed begging for bread.
                                                Psalm 37:25

God knows our needs, but continued prayer keeps us focused. We realize that we can't do it all on our own. I've struggled with that lesson myself. The friend who gave that verse also told of a saying that helps her: God sees your path, and he is the waymaker. If we just follow him instead of barging through ourselves (often blindly), it works better.
  Finally, I leave you with one of my favorite verses. We all have struggles, we have times when we pray and pray and pray and want to give up. Hang in there. This is why:
   But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.
                       Isaiah 40:31
         

A Morning Cup of Tea: Psalm 4

*Author's note: A Morning Cup of Tea is twofold: It keeps me accountable to read the Bible each day and helps me to clarify my thoughts on what I read. If what I write teaches false doctrine please do not hesitate to correct me, in love of course. My hope is that each day I will write the Morning Cup of Tea, which in itself is to be an ongoing series, but also to write about autism, general daily life and such here as well.Some days are just a little easier than others to get more posts in. While right now the Cup of Tea  posts may jump from subject to subject at the moment, I do want to settle in and cover women of the bible, reading the bible through, and probably a hundred other topics I can think of. I'd just rather take those a bit more seriously and prepare before I start.

 Good morning and happy first day of spring! It's slightly chilly here in my area of Georgia, but looks to be a pretty day. At the moment my world is filled with the buzz of family life: preparing for a doctor appointment and hopefully bible study tonight; my sweet hubby is getting breakfast cooked so I can write; J is loudly vocalizing and stimming. More about that later.

    This morning in all the confusion of what to read, I finally settled on Psalms. Psalm 4 is the one I settled on for now:

1. Hear me when I call, O God of my righteousness: thou hast enlarged me when I was in distress; have mercy upon me, and hear my prayer.
2. O ye sons of men, how long will ye turn my glory into shame? how long will ye love vanity, and seek after leasing? Selah
3. But know that the Lord hath set apart him that is godly for himself: the Lord will hear when I call unto him.
4. Stand in awe, and sin not: commune with your own heart upon your bed, and be still. Selah.
5. Offer the sacrifices of righteousness, and put your trust in the Lord.
6. There be many that say, Who will shew us any good? Lord, lift thou up the light of thy countenance upon us.
7. Thou hast put gladness in my heart, more than in the time that their corn and their wine increased.
8. I will both lay me down in peace, and sleep; for thou, Lord, only makest me dwell in safety.

King James seems to be my "go to" translation of the bible. I grew up more or less using it and I feel more comfortable with it than any other translation. Even so, I end up asking a lot of questions and looking up words.
  This is a psalm of David. In the first verse he calls upon God, reminding Him of his protection when he's called before. Then he turns his words to others. "How long will ye love vanity, and seek after leasing?" I had to look up leasing. It means a lie, deceit. Too often we chase after things that promise to make us happy -relationships, status, toys that we collect. While all these things can be fine as long as we don't let them take over our lives, all too often we can see that they bring about five minutes of pleasure and then the realization that we were chasing after the wrong thing.
  Selah is another word that I looked up. According to my notes in the Thomson Chain Reference, selah is a pause or musical note in the psalms and in Habbakuk 3:3.  I also looked it up online and the only reference I could find there was Wikipedia, which had this to say:     Selah (Hebrew: סֶלָה‎, also transliterated as selāh) is a word used 74 times in the Hebrew Bible – 71 times in the Psalms and 3 times in Habakkuk – and is a difficult concept to translate. (It should not be confused with the Hebrew word sela‘ (Hebrew: סֶלַע‎) which means "rock.") It is probably either a liturgico-musical mark or an instruction on the reading of the text, something like "stop and listen". Selah can also be used to indicate that there is to be a musical interlude at that point in the Psalm.^[1] The Amplified Bible translates selah as "pause, and think of that". It can also be interpreted as a form of underlining in preparation for the next paragraph.
   I like the idea of using Selah as a pause to reflect on what was just said. Look at what David says in verses 3 and 4:
   3.But know that the Lord hath set apart him that is godly for himself: the Lord will hear when I call unto him.
   4. Stand in awe, and sin not; commune with your own heart upon your bed, and be still. Selah.
  To me, it was like David bracketed that thought. He wanted to focus on remembering that we as God's people are set apart. We should be taking the time to focus on God and pray so that we won't sin. 
  The rest of the psalm, to me, points out that we shouldn't be looking to the world to fill our hearts with gladness and peace. It's not going to happen. Only God can give real joy and safety. This psalm isn't so much a cry for help as it is, speaking of the joy and peace in David's life because he knows he belongs to the Lord. The last two verses say it all: (In my words) You've put joy in my heart, even more than in times of plenty. I'm able to sleep soundly, and rest knowing that you (God) keep me safe.
  That last verse I really would like to paint either directly on my wall or on a canvas to hang in my bedroom. Such words of comfort! I'd mentioned doing that once before and it's still on my to do list. In the meantime, even if those words never end up on the wall, we should fill our hearts with the word of God. Having them there, and letting those words influence our lives is much better.  
   
    

A Morning Cup of Tea: A Study of Esther, Part 6

Purim

  Please read Esther chapters 8-10. If you missed the other parts of this study, part one is here.

Part 2 is here 

Part 3 

part 4 

and Part 5 

  After Esther reveals that she is a Jew, and that Haman has sought to kill Mordecai her uncle and adopted father and also to destroy all Jews, which would include herself, Haman is hanged on the very gallows he had built for Mordecai.

   Esther is given rule over the house of Haman, and Mordecai is promoted. Esther reminds the king that even though Haman is now dead, the Jews are still in danger. Ahasuerus tells them that the word coming from the king cannot be broken by anyone, not even himself. But in his name, they could write another command. The king gave Mordecai his ring and sent for the scribes. They wrote out a message to the Jews in all 127 provinces, telling them to fight against those who would try to take their lives.

   On the appointed day, the Jews gathered together in their cities and battled. In Shushan 500 of those who sought to see the Jews slaughtered were killed and Haman's ten sons were hanged. The Jews were safe and Mordecai, being second to the king's command, instituted a day of joy and feasting for the Jews. Their sorrow at the thought of being destroyed had been turned to joy. Because Haman had cast pur, or lots, to to decide on what day the Jews would die, the feast day became known as Purim.

    

A Morning Cup of Tea: A Study of Esther Part 5

Good afternoon! While we were late getting to worship, we were there this morning. I don't know about you, but my day, my week even, goes so much better when I'm able to connect face to face with my sisters and brothers in Christ. 
            Because Sundays are filled with family and worship, this one really will be tried and true. Today we are focusing on chapter 7 of Esther. Ahasuerus and Haman are attending the second feast that Esther has prepared for them. The king once again asks Esther what is it her heart desires, and he is prepared to give her anything, up to half his kingdom. She asks for her life, and those of her people, to be spared. She told the king that someone had decided to kill them. When Ahasuerus asks who would do this, Esther points to Haman.
  The king, understandably, is furious. The whole story probably came out during this. The king leaves the feast and goes out into the garden, I'm assuming to calm down so he doesn't take Haman's life right then and there.  Haman realizes the situation he's in so he takes after Esther to plead for his life. But the king sees Haman on the Queen's bed and assumes Haman is trying to force himself on her. It is revealed that Haman had built a gallows in which to hang Mordecai. In a case of letting the punishment fit the crime, Haman is hanged on his own gallows.
    We will finish up the book of Esther in the next day or so, but I love Esther's story so much. God is able to use each of us, whether we are a young orphan girl turned queen or a mother of a young adult with autism, or the bride of a preacher, or any other role you find yourself in. Esther was timid at first, but she had much faith.  

 

A Mornin Cup of Tea: A Study of Esther part 4

The Plan

This is a small study of the book of Esther. If you would like to catch up you can find part one here, 

part 2 here 

and part 3 here.

Today we are reading chapters 5 and 6. My notes from this one may seem hurried or short and sweet because my J Man is wide awake and very vocal. He's had a quick breakfast of pizza eggs (2 eggs scrambled with three pepperonis that have been julienned and a sprinkle of mozzarella cheese) and he is very happy.

  

Esther and her maids, along with the Jews in Shushan, have fasted and prayed for three days. On the third day Esther dressed in her royal clothes and went to see king Ahasuerus. He sees her waiting and points his golden scepter at her. Because of his love for her, he asks her request and tells her she can have anything she wants, up to half of his kingdom. "If it pleases the king, then you and Haman come to a feast I've made for you today," was her reply. So simple. The king accepts. The two have a fine old time at the feast and Ahasuerus asks again, what is your request? Ask for up to half the kingdom and it will be given to you. Once again, Esther simply asks that they both come to a feast for them that she will prepare tomorrow. They accept.

    On the way home Haman is pleased with himself. He got to dine with the king and the queen by special request and he gets to do it again tomorrow! Nothing can take away his happiness. That is, until he catches sight of Mordecai sitting at the gate. Mordecai did not so much as stand up when Haman came by, much less bow to him. There goes that happy mood he was in. And it's all Mordecai's fault. 

 Now, stop for a moment. Do you ever catch yourself doing that? I was having a great day but so and so did something to ruin it. Or this happened and there went my day. I've done that a time or two. And all I can think now is :really? you're going to allow someone else or a bump in the road take away your joy? Most of the time those things that suddenly turn our blue skies gray aren't worth even the time it takes to growl and stomp and fume. It may seem like it at the time, but most times, once we look back at it, it's not really worth even a frown. Don't give anyone or anything power to rule your emotions for you. 

   True joy isn't being deliriously happy 24/7. I don't think anyone would ever feel like that. Joy should be in our hearts when we know that our lives belong to the One True God. We put our hopes and our fears in his hands. If you are a Christian, you know that setbacks on this earth are temporary, in the long run. If we hear the word, believe, repent, are baptized, and strive to live the way God wants us, we get everlasting life with him in heaven. Yes, our hearts are going to be broken a time or two or even more here on earth. It's okay to grieve for those. In Haman's case, however, just the sight of a man who refused to bow before him gave him cause to frown.

  The king could not sleep that night so he called for someone to read to him from the book chronicling all that happened during his reign. It was from this reading that Ahasuerus was reminded that Mordecai had once saved his life by reporting of the two chamberlains who meant to harm him. As it happened, Haman was wishing to see him. The king called him in and asked his opinion of how to reward a man in such high favor. 

  Now, you know this put a huge silly grin on Haman's face! Remember, Haman has a huge ego because of his position. So he tells the king, send him royal clothes by way of one of the highest princes. Let him ride through town wearing the royal clothes on a royal horse, and let him wear the royal crown.  The king agrees to this --and then says to Haman, You take the clothes and the horse and the crown to Mordecai the Jew --and that grin freezes. Maybe even dims a little bit.  He did as the king asked though, because you just don't disobey the king's command. And it galled him so much to help Mordecai dress up and parade him through the area showing this high honor, he went home afterward in mourning, with his head covered. Translation? He pouted! He doesn't really want to do anything other than stay home and sulk for a bit, but he has another feast to attend with the king and queen. 

  I hope you are enjoying the study of Esther as much as I am.