Today is Gratituesday, as coined by Laura from Heavenly Homemakers, Wont you join us?
I have a need to be in control. I think I have all the answers, I know what's best for people. That's a very arrogant statement, don't you think? It puts a lot of unneeded stress on a woman to have to be 'in control' all the time. You know what I've been learning? I can't control everything and I certainly can't control everyone around me. Family and friends are going to be and do whom and what they choose. It's called free will, a gift given us God. That gift comes with responsibility, to be sure, but that's a lesson for another time. The point for today is, I can teach my child right from wrong. I can discuss with my family and friends what the bible says or give my opinion on a matter. It is up to the individual to decide what he or she is going to do. I can want a certain outcome in any given situation, and I can pray. But in most cases I can't control the answer.
I've been having some health problems that have the doctor concerned. He had some tests run to see what exactly is going on. Should be simple, right? You go in, do the tests, you find out the results. Well, in learning to give up the need for control, you have to learn how to trust. Most of the tests have come out fine. Yes, i have something that necessitates seeing another doctor for but I'm okay with that. It's relatively minor and we'll see what the new doc recommends. When I see him. Remember that control problem? I get very frustrated when things don't happen when and how I think they should. We had to reschedule that appointment.
One other test I haven't heard the results from yet. I've been playing phone tag with the nurse. Hopefully we will hear today whether everything is good or not.We shall see. I'm still a little concerned, but I'm slowly learning that I don't need to be in control. Our heavenly Father can see the whole picture, whereas I can only see bits and pieces at a time. My trust needs to be such that, no matter the outcome of the results or the doctor visit, God will take care of me. He is in control. Not me. I'm thankful that I don't have to be. While I do have to take care of my health as best as I can, and do my part no matter the situation, I don't have to sit and worry over every little detail. I can lean on the everlasting arms. I don't have to worry about the future because I know who holds the future. I know that sounds simplistic and trite, an not always easy to hold to, but it's true.
Am I still going to worry at times? Most likely. I'm a wife, a mother, a daughter, I'm human. I'm going to slip up. But this is a lesson I'm being taught at the moment-- trust and give up control. I'm so thankful for it.