For those of you still following me and those just joining me, thank you. I apologize for not posting more regularly, but taking care of family trumps sitting and writing. As it is, I'm sitting here arguing with J. He wants attention and food, and not necessarily in that order. Never fear though, lunch is being heated up at this very moment.
Speaking of J, he's been on new medication for about a month or so now. I'm happy to report that he is doing well. One of the reasons that he's acting up a little today is he ran out of one of the meds over the weekend. It will get refilled today when he sees his doctor. He also sees his new neurologist on August first. He has an EEG scheduled for that day. We like this new doctor, as well as the intern. Both took the time to listen to our concerns and asked many questions. The treatment plan was explained well enough and we all came out happy.
I just completed Dare nine in the Respect Dare. I'm not going as fast as I'd like to catch up with the others, but that's okay for now. I want all of this to sink in. Dare nine was about overlooking insults. Not necessarily from your husband, but from anyone who just plain wants to be rude. I have a hard time with this, honestly. If people are rude with me, I have a tendency to get ugly right back. With strangers and casual acquaintances I can handle it better, but the barbs hurt a little worse when it comes from family or friends you know well. Let me be perfectly clear though: this is *not* a way to say my husband insults me. He doesn't. Like any human, he has his faults. That isn't one of them. But when others do get my goat, he tends to be an indirect target of my ill mood. Thankfully, he has a calming influence on me. He knows just what to say or do and he knows most of the time when to just let me blow off steam so that we can discuss it. I'm the one who needs to learn to redirect my thoughts and words and actions.
Dare ten teaches not to judge or criticize others, or to speak too quickly, but to speak with wisdom after carefully listening. I know there are far too many times when my mouth has a hair trigger --it goes off without warning. I am my husband's helpmeet. i want him to be able to come to me without dread that I'm going to say something negative. I want my presence and speech to be welcoming to him at all times.
I reposted a photo on facebook that shows a cuddling couple by a fireplace and it said "Home" is in the arms of my husband. That statement is so true for me. What a friend commented is also true: she said that was very rare for most women. Ladies, I would never encourage anyone to stay in a relationship that is physically abusive. Ever. I'm not a marriage counselor, nor am I an expert by any means in marriage. I just know that in order for a marriage to work, it takes work -on both sides. What my friend continued to say makes a lot of sense (and I hope she doesn't mind me quoting her) :
sometimes
we women are all prickles and thorns rather than a purring cat. But
then, there can be a reason for that - hurt feelings, verbal attacks. It
can be a vicious cycle. Somebody in the relationship has to put an end
to it. Like a square knot - it only tightens when both ropes pull
against each other.
Whether we have a good marriage and want to make it even better, or there is a problem that needs to be fixed, I recommend two things -Prayer and the Respect Dare. It's not about being a doormat, it's not about being weak. Will it be easy? Not really. Will it be worth it? I think so.
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 23, 2013
Saturday, May 5, 2012
Happily Ever After
Twenty two years ago today it was raining. One sister wasn't speaking to me. One brother was upset with me.The best man was in another town taking his SAT's. I had no idea who would show up and who wouldn't. I was nervous, but it all went away when I saw my best friend.
Nothing mattered except I was getting married. I was eighteen, on the verge of graduating high school, and I didn't care about a thing except marrying the one I loved.
For most of my teen years I saw myself headed to college, getting a job and being on my own. I wanted a boyfriend, but I didn't really give a thought to a husband because that was far down the road. In reality, other than being a writer, I didn't know what I wanted to be. In my senior year I hadn't thought of applying for scholarships because I didn't think my grades were good enough. I figured I would work for awhile. Life has a way of bringing you to a different path sometimes.
I didn't start out the school year thinking I would be married before the end of it. I had just moved back home after a year away. I wanted to have fun, no serious relationships. I knew I wanted to date Christian guys, and thought I had one picked out but he just wanted to be friends. So a friend of mine and her mother pointed her brother in my direction. Long, shaggy hair and a beard. Quiet, with a weird sense of humor. The first time I laid eyes on him at Wednesday night bible study, he was wearing overalls and flip flops. He asked me out, and I said yes.
I spent the weekend with his family. I was there as his sister's guest but somehow I was with him a lot more. We talked. We went to the football game and his sister was with us. Somehow though, I didn't think he liked me and he didn't think it would go anywhere.
By November of that year, we had dated exclusively. I'd seen how he was with his family, his mother and sister especially. I'd seen how he treated me. He opened doors for me, held my hand in public (still does both of those things). Not because I wasn't able to care for myself but because he wanted to. We talked about a lot of things, and we both agreed that marriage was a lifetime commitment. We both felt that for ourselves as individuals, marriage wouldn't end except for death or adultery. We discussed it some more, and he asked my mother for permission to marry me. Then he proposed in front of his family. Twice, because the first time his Dad didn't have film in the camera. I'd had no clue he was going to propose that day, or I would have worn something other than jeans and a New Kids on the Block tee shirt. He was dressed in black slacks and a white dress shirt. And he was down on bended knee.
We discussed the wedding date, and decided on the first Saturday in May, the year following graduation. The more we discussed it, and because some family issues reared their head, we moved up the date. Quite honestly, both of us were eager to start our new lives together. Because of that, and illness, rumors floated around. Sorry to disappoint, but our wedding was a want to, not a have to.
In the end, my family showed up and my sisters and a niece, along with The Hubby's sister, were bridesmaids, each wearing a different shade of blue. Hubby's brother and friends from church were his groomsmen. The best man made it back in plenty of time. It was a simple church wedding, and you can't hear either of us on the wedding video because we were speaking only for each other. I had no idea what to expect of marriage except I would be with my best friend till death do us part. I was his and he was mine. We learned about marriage and, 14 months later, parenthood, together. For me, it has been happily ever after, but not the Disney fairy tale version of happily ever after. In the real world there are bad times mixed in with the good. We've argued and fussed, slammed doors, dealt with the death of one child and struggled with the special needs of another. Some things that are thrown our way are easier than others, but mostly we deal with them together. We choose to work things out and not give up.
If I sound a bit smug, maybe I am, but also know that I don't know what the future holds. I don't foresee either of us leaving the other but for death. However, I know that as humans, we aren't perfect. Each day I choose to be with my husband, and each day he chooses to be with me. We are one. And we both have learned that a strong marriage takes three to be complete: God, husband, wife. A cord of three can't be broken.
Although this was written last week, I am linking it up to Heavenly Homemaker's Gratituesday. Join us, wont you?You'll find lots more stories of gratitude there.
Nothing mattered except I was getting married. I was eighteen, on the verge of graduating high school, and I didn't care about a thing except marrying the one I loved.
For most of my teen years I saw myself headed to college, getting a job and being on my own. I wanted a boyfriend, but I didn't really give a thought to a husband because that was far down the road. In reality, other than being a writer, I didn't know what I wanted to be. In my senior year I hadn't thought of applying for scholarships because I didn't think my grades were good enough. I figured I would work for awhile. Life has a way of bringing you to a different path sometimes.
I didn't start out the school year thinking I would be married before the end of it. I had just moved back home after a year away. I wanted to have fun, no serious relationships. I knew I wanted to date Christian guys, and thought I had one picked out but he just wanted to be friends. So a friend of mine and her mother pointed her brother in my direction. Long, shaggy hair and a beard. Quiet, with a weird sense of humor. The first time I laid eyes on him at Wednesday night bible study, he was wearing overalls and flip flops. He asked me out, and I said yes.
I spent the weekend with his family. I was there as his sister's guest but somehow I was with him a lot more. We talked. We went to the football game and his sister was with us. Somehow though, I didn't think he liked me and he didn't think it would go anywhere.
By November of that year, we had dated exclusively. I'd seen how he was with his family, his mother and sister especially. I'd seen how he treated me. He opened doors for me, held my hand in public (still does both of those things). Not because I wasn't able to care for myself but because he wanted to. We talked about a lot of things, and we both agreed that marriage was a lifetime commitment. We both felt that for ourselves as individuals, marriage wouldn't end except for death or adultery. We discussed it some more, and he asked my mother for permission to marry me. Then he proposed in front of his family. Twice, because the first time his Dad didn't have film in the camera. I'd had no clue he was going to propose that day, or I would have worn something other than jeans and a New Kids on the Block tee shirt. He was dressed in black slacks and a white dress shirt. And he was down on bended knee.
We discussed the wedding date, and decided on the first Saturday in May, the year following graduation. The more we discussed it, and because some family issues reared their head, we moved up the date. Quite honestly, both of us were eager to start our new lives together. Because of that, and illness, rumors floated around. Sorry to disappoint, but our wedding was a want to, not a have to.
In the end, my family showed up and my sisters and a niece, along with The Hubby's sister, were bridesmaids, each wearing a different shade of blue. Hubby's brother and friends from church were his groomsmen. The best man made it back in plenty of time. It was a simple church wedding, and you can't hear either of us on the wedding video because we were speaking only for each other. I had no idea what to expect of marriage except I would be with my best friend till death do us part. I was his and he was mine. We learned about marriage and, 14 months later, parenthood, together. For me, it has been happily ever after, but not the Disney fairy tale version of happily ever after. In the real world there are bad times mixed in with the good. We've argued and fussed, slammed doors, dealt with the death of one child and struggled with the special needs of another. Some things that are thrown our way are easier than others, but mostly we deal with them together. We choose to work things out and not give up.
If I sound a bit smug, maybe I am, but also know that I don't know what the future holds. I don't foresee either of us leaving the other but for death. However, I know that as humans, we aren't perfect. Each day I choose to be with my husband, and each day he chooses to be with me. We are one. And we both have learned that a strong marriage takes three to be complete: God, husband, wife. A cord of three can't be broken.
Although this was written last week, I am linking it up to Heavenly Homemaker's Gratituesday. Join us, wont you?You'll find lots more stories of gratitude there.
Friday, October 14, 2011
A Morning Cup of Tea: Concerning Marriage and Divorce
Good Friday morning to you! Are you winding down the work week and readying for a relaxing weekend with the family? It's going to be a quiet one for us. This is the middle of my husband's work week this time around, as he is working nights. Because he has 12 hour shifts on weekends, we will stick close to home, probably venturing out for groceries and Worship on Sunday morning.
Today we begin chapter 10 of Mark. Jesus and his disciples are in Judea, and the Pharisees there are there once again to test Jesus on his knowledge of the law. Is it lawful for a man to put away (divorce) his wife? they asked.
Jesus answered by asking, what did Moses command you? Of course, they answered that Moses allowed them to simply write her a letter of divorcement, and that would be the end of it.
This is what Jesus has to say on the subject of marriage and divorce. The next few verses are straight from the King James bible. My opinion is nowhere in this, except to say that I whole heartedly agree, because Jesus said it and in my mind that settles it.
5.And Jesus answered and said unto them, For the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept.
6. But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female.
7. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife:
8. And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh.
9. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
In the home at which they were staying, the disciples asked Jesus again about divorce.
11. And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her.
12. And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery.
We know in Matthew Jesus said the only reason for divorce where remarriage would not be a sin is fornication. The one who was wronged would be free to divorce and remarry, if he or she so desired.
These days, as then apparently, people get divorced simply because they "fall out of love". Or their straying eye finds someone new they would rather be with. Love shouldn't be so fickle. Love takes work, folks! It is a decision that must be made, continuing to choose to love him despite his faults. After all, we have our own faults that they put up with. The point is to work through them, and with your husband, not to push away from him.
Are there other reasons to divorce? Yes, I think so. If the husband or wife is abusive, there is no reason to stay in the same house with that person. It is better to get out. Instead of looking to marry another though, in that case I would continue praying for my husband --from the safety of another home.
The bottom line is we should not take marriage so lightly. In today's society some refuse to marry at all, because they do not wish to make the commitment. If it doesnt work out, they say, all they need to do is leave. And some marry with the same throw away concept: "If it doesn't work out we can always get a divorce." In both cases there are usually children involved. No, it isnt better for the child to have two separate houses to call home. That is a cop out. It is better for the child and the marriage to try and work things out. Don't let the weeds of discontent take root in your marriage. Nurture it and care for it like any other precious item in your life. You will be rewarded many times over.
Today we begin chapter 10 of Mark. Jesus and his disciples are in Judea, and the Pharisees there are there once again to test Jesus on his knowledge of the law. Is it lawful for a man to put away (divorce) his wife? they asked.
Jesus answered by asking, what did Moses command you? Of course, they answered that Moses allowed them to simply write her a letter of divorcement, and that would be the end of it.
This is what Jesus has to say on the subject of marriage and divorce. The next few verses are straight from the King James bible. My opinion is nowhere in this, except to say that I whole heartedly agree, because Jesus said it and in my mind that settles it.
5.And Jesus answered and said unto them, For the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept.
6. But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female.
7. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife:
8. And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh.
9. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
In the home at which they were staying, the disciples asked Jesus again about divorce.
11. And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her.
12. And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery.
We know in Matthew Jesus said the only reason for divorce where remarriage would not be a sin is fornication. The one who was wronged would be free to divorce and remarry, if he or she so desired.
These days, as then apparently, people get divorced simply because they "fall out of love". Or their straying eye finds someone new they would rather be with. Love shouldn't be so fickle. Love takes work, folks! It is a decision that must be made, continuing to choose to love him despite his faults. After all, we have our own faults that they put up with. The point is to work through them, and with your husband, not to push away from him.
Are there other reasons to divorce? Yes, I think so. If the husband or wife is abusive, there is no reason to stay in the same house with that person. It is better to get out. Instead of looking to marry another though, in that case I would continue praying for my husband --from the safety of another home.
The bottom line is we should not take marriage so lightly. In today's society some refuse to marry at all, because they do not wish to make the commitment. If it doesnt work out, they say, all they need to do is leave. And some marry with the same throw away concept: "If it doesn't work out we can always get a divorce." In both cases there are usually children involved. No, it isnt better for the child to have two separate houses to call home. That is a cop out. It is better for the child and the marriage to try and work things out. Don't let the weeds of discontent take root in your marriage. Nurture it and care for it like any other precious item in your life. You will be rewarded many times over.
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
A Morning Cup of Tea: Jesus Speaks of Divorce
Today's reading is from Matthew 19:1-12. It's a strange morning for me, after so many weeks of being awake by myself. J was awake but has gone back to sleep. Jim is in the kitchen listening to music and beginning his day. Because he has third shift tonight I do believe he will be napping later in the day.
Jesus left Galilee and is now in Judea. Wherever he goes crowds follow -curiosity seekers, those truly interested in his message, and Pharisees are invariably there as well. They really are not happy that Jesus is getting all this attention and teaching what they don't wish to believe. Trying to trap him, they asked him if it was lawful for a man to divorce his wife. Jesus asked them, have you not read that God made man and he made them male and female, and a man shall leave his mother and father and cleave to his wife, and the two shall be one? They are no longer two, but one flesh. What God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. (verses 4 -6)
Man and woman come joined together in matrimony. That is a very strong bond, or should be.
Not really satisfied with that answer, the Pharisees asked, why did Moses command to give a writing of divorcement? And we think our divorce laws are easy. All they had to do was write it down and it was done. The man could go on his merry little way, single again. But listen to what Jesus says to them:
8. He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.
9. And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
Did you catch that? God didn't tell his people they could give a writing of divorcement and be done with it. Moses allowed that because that is what they wanted. God's law and man's law are sometimes two different things. Just because the law of the land says something is okay does NOT make it okay in God's eyes. In this case Jesus said that divorce for any other reason than fornication is not acceptable. If you choose to divorce for any other reason and remarry, you're committing adultery. And if the person who committed the sin in the first place remarries, they are in the wrong.
The disciples said, well if this is how things are maybe its not good to marry. But Jesus told them not all people can heed to that. Some are eunuchs by birth, some by man, and some choose to make eunuchs of themselves for the kingdom of heaven's sake. They want to focus purely on God. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it. (v12). Meaning, if you can live a marriageless life and not sin, go ahead. If you can't, it is better to be married.
Marriage is the only place where God has sanctified sex. It is not something casual like a handshake. It is something wonderful, meant to be shared by two people who love each other and commit their lives together as one. When we keep our eyes only for our mate we save a lot of grief and heart ache. If we are not out having sex with multiple partners before marriage, we know that we won't get an STD and we won't get pregnant. We also don't get our hearts broken because he got what he wanted and moved on to the next conquest. These are just a few reasons I see why we should remain pure until marriage, other than God said so.
Jesus left Galilee and is now in Judea. Wherever he goes crowds follow -curiosity seekers, those truly interested in his message, and Pharisees are invariably there as well. They really are not happy that Jesus is getting all this attention and teaching what they don't wish to believe. Trying to trap him, they asked him if it was lawful for a man to divorce his wife. Jesus asked them, have you not read that God made man and he made them male and female, and a man shall leave his mother and father and cleave to his wife, and the two shall be one? They are no longer two, but one flesh. What God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. (verses 4 -6)
Man and woman come joined together in matrimony. That is a very strong bond, or should be.
Not really satisfied with that answer, the Pharisees asked, why did Moses command to give a writing of divorcement? And we think our divorce laws are easy. All they had to do was write it down and it was done. The man could go on his merry little way, single again. But listen to what Jesus says to them:
8. He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.
9. And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
Did you catch that? God didn't tell his people they could give a writing of divorcement and be done with it. Moses allowed that because that is what they wanted. God's law and man's law are sometimes two different things. Just because the law of the land says something is okay does NOT make it okay in God's eyes. In this case Jesus said that divorce for any other reason than fornication is not acceptable. If you choose to divorce for any other reason and remarry, you're committing adultery. And if the person who committed the sin in the first place remarries, they are in the wrong.
The disciples said, well if this is how things are maybe its not good to marry. But Jesus told them not all people can heed to that. Some are eunuchs by birth, some by man, and some choose to make eunuchs of themselves for the kingdom of heaven's sake. They want to focus purely on God. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it. (v12). Meaning, if you can live a marriageless life and not sin, go ahead. If you can't, it is better to be married.
Marriage is the only place where God has sanctified sex. It is not something casual like a handshake. It is something wonderful, meant to be shared by two people who love each other and commit their lives together as one. When we keep our eyes only for our mate we save a lot of grief and heart ache. If we are not out having sex with multiple partners before marriage, we know that we won't get an STD and we won't get pregnant. We also don't get our hearts broken because he got what he wanted and moved on to the next conquest. These are just a few reasons I see why we should remain pure until marriage, other than God said so.
Monday, August 8, 2011
Praise Your Husbands
I awoke this morning with my mind already on the list of things that needed to be accomplished today and a cat loudly reminding me that she and her siblings were close to the point of starvation (translation: they hadn't been fed yet). Thankfully the poor critters were able to hang on until I took care of some more pressing needs of my own. Then I glanced at my washer. Right beside it were clothes that would have to be rewashed. Ah. I had forgotten a load and hubby needed to wash his uniform last night.
My first thought was to be crabby and send him asnarling diatribe sweet reminder to never ever do that again! help a forgetful wife out a bit. And then, preparing to do my own blog, I saw on my list of blog updates, this from Always Learning. It was the perfect reminder for me.
All too often I see and hear wives publicly trashing their husbands. I'm not exactly blameless of this as I've grouched publicly too. Yes, they do have their faults. But then, don't we all? We know that praising a pet when it does good helps to train it to do well, and we understand that positive reinforcement will encourage a child to do well. Why then, would we tear our husbands apart, especially publicly?
If Frannie Friend came to my house and said "Dottie, your husband is a disgrace! He's this, he's that, he's just no good!" I'd likely show Frannie the door. We wouldn't allow others to talk bad about our mates, so why do we do it? Most people will live up (or down) to our standards. If we want sweet, loving words from them, we should use sweet, loving words when talking to or about them.
When was the last time you thanked your husband for rubbing your shoulders after a hard day? or for taking out the trash without being asked? When was the last time you snarled at him about one of his faults?
As for my husband, yes he does have his faults. But he is a good Christian. He is a great father. He is a hard worker. He is my best friend.
My first thought was to be crabby and send him a
All too often I see and hear wives publicly trashing their husbands. I'm not exactly blameless of this as I've grouched publicly too. Yes, they do have their faults. But then, don't we all? We know that praising a pet when it does good helps to train it to do well, and we understand that positive reinforcement will encourage a child to do well. Why then, would we tear our husbands apart, especially publicly?
If Frannie Friend came to my house and said "Dottie, your husband is a disgrace! He's this, he's that, he's just no good!" I'd likely show Frannie the door. We wouldn't allow others to talk bad about our mates, so why do we do it? Most people will live up (or down) to our standards. If we want sweet, loving words from them, we should use sweet, loving words when talking to or about them.
When was the last time you thanked your husband for rubbing your shoulders after a hard day? or for taking out the trash without being asked? When was the last time you snarled at him about one of his faults?
As for my husband, yes he does have his faults. But he is a good Christian. He is a great father. He is a hard worker. He is my best friend.
Sunday, July 17, 2011
A Morning Cup of Tea: Jesus on Adultery and Divorce
Good morning.It's a beautiful Lord's day here. My household is preparing to go to worship services in a bit.
Today's lesson is from Matthew 5: 27-32.
27. Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery:
28. But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery already with her in his heart.
Now ladies, I'm going to stop right here for a second. We all know that this information goes both ways. I'm also going to say that that the old excuse "I can't help it if some guy looks at me. They're going to look anyway" does not fly. Sorry, that dog just don't hunt.
Yes, there are some out there who would wolf whistle at a woman covered head to toe. But that does not give us the right to dress immodestly. We don't necessarily have to go back to high neck blouses and skirts down to the toes unless you happen to like that look. But wearing the microscopic shorts that barely cover the "essentials" and the tops that either show the belly or half your chest is like having a flashing sign over your head saying, Hey, look at me!
Yes, I know it's hot outside. And I know the excuse, they shouldn't look. If you didn't want guys to look would you be dressing that way? honestly? A tip, ladies: leggings are great for exercising and such. Out in public, please wear something else over your hips.
Dressing modestly applies to men as well. We need to teach our sons not to be wearing tight jeans or conversely, pants that are so loose that you have to walk funny to keep from losing them completely.
29. And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out , and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.
30. And if they right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.
Simply put, we should be keeping a tight rein on ourselves, and taking care of the "trouble spots."
31. It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement:
32. But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.
I don't think Jesus could get any plainer than that. There is no biblical reason for divorce other than one partner straying from the marriage bed. Marriage should be sacred. NOTHING should get between a man and a woman who are married. Yes, I understand that people also divorce because of abuse. I would never , ever advocate staying where you are not safe. But scriptural divorce is only in that one case.
One day i would love to do a post or series on marriage. But for now, if you would like to read some great husband/wife advice, please go to heavenly homemakers
for Laura and Matt's series on Healthy Marriage Tips From A to Z.
Have a wonderful day!
Today's lesson is from Matthew 5: 27-32.
27. Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery:
28. But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery already with her in his heart.
Now ladies, I'm going to stop right here for a second. We all know that this information goes both ways. I'm also going to say that that the old excuse "I can't help it if some guy looks at me. They're going to look anyway" does not fly. Sorry, that dog just don't hunt.
Yes, there are some out there who would wolf whistle at a woman covered head to toe. But that does not give us the right to dress immodestly. We don't necessarily have to go back to high neck blouses and skirts down to the toes unless you happen to like that look. But wearing the microscopic shorts that barely cover the "essentials" and the tops that either show the belly or half your chest is like having a flashing sign over your head saying, Hey, look at me!
Yes, I know it's hot outside. And I know the excuse, they shouldn't look. If you didn't want guys to look would you be dressing that way? honestly? A tip, ladies: leggings are great for exercising and such. Out in public, please wear something else over your hips.
Dressing modestly applies to men as well. We need to teach our sons not to be wearing tight jeans or conversely, pants that are so loose that you have to walk funny to keep from losing them completely.
29. And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out , and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.
30. And if they right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.
Simply put, we should be keeping a tight rein on ourselves, and taking care of the "trouble spots."
31. It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement:
32. But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.
I don't think Jesus could get any plainer than that. There is no biblical reason for divorce other than one partner straying from the marriage bed. Marriage should be sacred. NOTHING should get between a man and a woman who are married. Yes, I understand that people also divorce because of abuse. I would never , ever advocate staying where you are not safe. But scriptural divorce is only in that one case.
One day i would love to do a post or series on marriage. But for now, if you would like to read some great husband/wife advice, please go to heavenly homemakers
for Laura and Matt's series on Healthy Marriage Tips From A to Z.
Have a wonderful day!
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