The Respect Dare

About ten days or so ago on Facebook a friend shared a link to a blog challenging women to work on their relationship with their husband --particularly, respect. I took a look and jumped in, feet first. I already knew that some-ahem-fine tuning was in order. 

The respect challenge is a 40 day journey that follows The Respect Dare by Nina Roesner. Unbroken Woman is the blog hosting the challenge. That link takes you directly to the post on what to expect when you embark on this journey. A word of advice: don't take this endeavor lightly. I'm a few days behind on the dares, but that's okay for me. I'll catch up soon enough.

I honestly thought that once I got the book I could catch up fairly quickly, just combine a few dares each day until I got there. Well, although I have been able to do some of that, it's not as easy as it seems. With family life alone it gets to be hard sometimes. And then there is the long hard look at yourself with each challenge. In the few days that I've been reading the book and following the posts on Unbroken Woman I've cried, been a bit more emotional, and at one time felt like there is just too much in me that needs to be "fixed".  I do have a long way to go, I admit that. But this journey is totally worth it to me. If I am disrespectful to my husband in any way, I'm being disrespectful to God. 

Being respectful does not in any way, form, or manner mean that you have to be a door mat. Quite the opposite, actually. Women of strength and honor know that there is a difference. I like the way Jennifer Unbroken Woman said it in her post about the dare:

God calls men to love their wives as Christ loved the church which if you look at Jesus’ example, He constantly gave of himself even when He was tired. His ultimate sacrifice and demonstration of love was that he literally gave his life for the church, his bride. That’s a hard command given to our husbands but we were given one as well and that’s to respect our husbands and submit to their leadership. This doesn’t mean we submit to sin but it’s trusting God enough to deal with our husbands if their leadership fails. Regardless, we are called to respect and obey them.
The world tells us that we deserve respect and if we aren’t respected or loved then we don’t have to give it in return. The problem with that is that it’s not Biblical and that attitude is wiping Godly marriages out.

Submission and respect is not about subservient living or slavery. It’s not losing our identity. Quite the opposite!

At the top of each post for the dare, we see a welcome mat.  Our husbands should feel welcomed when they come to us. At least, that's the way I feel. I encourage you to take a chance on this challenge. In fact, I dare you!  Will you want to give up at times? Oh yeah, definitely. Will it be hard? Yes! But oh, so worth it. It is not an overnight change, but a journey. 

Praise Your Husbands

 I awoke this morning with my mind already on the list of things that needed to be accomplished today and a cat loudly reminding me that she and her siblings were close to the point of starvation (translation: they hadn't been fed yet). Thankfully  the poor critters were able to hang on until I took care of some more pressing needs of my own. Then I glanced at my washer. Right beside it were clothes that would have to be rewashed. Ah. I had forgotten a load and hubby needed to wash his uniform last night. 
  My first thought was to be crabby and send him a snarling diatribe sweet reminder to never ever do that again! help a forgetful wife out a bit. And then, preparing to do my own blog, I saw on my list of blog updates, this from Always Learning.   It was the perfect reminder for me.
  All too often I see and hear wives publicly trashing their husbands. I'm not exactly blameless of this as I've grouched publicly too. Yes, they do have their faults. But then, don't we all? We know that praising a pet when it does good helps to train it to do well, and we understand that positive reinforcement will encourage a child to do well. Why then, would we tear our husbands apart, especially publicly?
  If Frannie Friend came to my house and said "Dottie, your husband is a disgrace! He's this, he's that, he's just no good!" I'd likely show Frannie the door. We wouldn't allow others to talk bad about our mates, so why do we do it? Most people will live up (or down) to our standards. If we want sweet, loving words from them, we should use sweet, loving words when talking to or about them. 
  When was the last time you thanked your husband for rubbing your shoulders after a hard day? or for taking out the trash without being asked? When was the last time you snarled at him about one of his faults? 
 As for my husband, yes he does have his faults. But he is a good Christian. He is a great father. He is a hard worker. He is my best friend.