An Open Letter to Adults About Teaching and Correcting Children

 Dear parents, teachers, aunts, uncles, and other adults in charge of children:


Just a few days ago I was verbally attacked by an eighteen year old and her little friends. It happened publicly, on Facebook, because this child has obviously been taught, one way or another, that this is the proper way of handling a situation. Throw out a liberal dose of profanity and beat one's chest in the manner of a gorilla, sprinkling in words like respect.  

Sad to say, at first I took the bait, although I did not read this child's entire rant. I responded from the heart. Then I deleted and apologized to anyone who could have read any of that on my page. I am by no means perfect, but I won't listen to that type of speech. I close my ears to it. Using that language at me on the phone earns a hang up. In print, the delete button comes in very handy.  I even stated that conversations are welcome; profanity and abusive language would be removed and those involved would be blocked from my page.  My husband took it upon himself to guard my page so I wouldn't have to see it all. Why? Because I'm related to the 18 year old and the ones who chose to follow her lead.

I did see that one adult came to the defense of the 18 year old, remarking that no one knows the truth about the 18 year old. The sad truth is, that in this world that can quote and twist to their needs in many cases the verse in the bible that says judge not, everyone does. Matthew 7:1, NIV, states "Do not judge, or you too will be judged."  Because I was judged, those who read the diatribe on my page judged the 18 year old by her words and by what they could see on the 18 year old's own page. 


Truth: People know you by your words and your actions. If you are proud of those words and actions, own it. If you aren't happy with the way people see (judge) you, then perhaps it's time to do some thinking.


Some will dismiss the actions and words of those involved in the verbal attack as those who don't know any better, or "they're going to do stuff like that, they're young".  Just kids. I see. That makes it okay then. Or does it? As i said, the main instigator was 18. One of her followers (whether he wrote himself or was "hacked") is in his late 20's. 


Truth: Parents, Aunts, Uncles, Teachers, and other adults in authority, we must remember that the words and actions of our children are a reflection on us. 

Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.  KJV Proverbs 22:15

It is up to us adults to teach and to correct bad behavior while the children are young so that when the world sees our little darlings, the world doesn't hold up a mirror that makes us unhappy.  We all love our children and we want to be the cool parent whose home is the local hangout, right? That's what keeps our children loving us, right? Not so much. Being a parent means teaching right from wrong, and how to deal with a situation that makes them unhappy. In other words, if we do not correct our children's behavior now, someone else will do it later, and the way it is done may lead to heartbreak. Not everyone will simply hit delete and move on. Some will choose to involve the police or other court system, some will retaliate in kind and introduce violence. We only have to read or watch the news to know that deaths occur everyday in this country(!) over matters that could and should have been talked out.  Many scream about how far we've come as a society, and how certain groups are dragging us back in time to "the bad old days." Read your history. We haven't gone forward or backward. We're simply spinning our wheels because the lesson's aren't being learned.

I for one, have many lessons still to learn. I am by no means perfect. But when someone has a problem, I am willing to listen as long as it is brought to me in  a respectful manner. Respect is another word being thrown about in this world, like truth, but few know or care about its meaning. That, my friends, is another lesson for another day. For now I have spoken my peace. Thank you for listening.

simply,

Dottie

Morning Has Broken

Actually, morning broke about two hours or so ago --5 AM. I'm a morning person, but in my book, morning should ideally begin at 7 AM. At the earliest,  6:30. I could possibly stand 6 if I had to. In my world however, I have a son who has come to believe that anywhere between 2 AM and 5 AM is the optimum time to start the day. And the cats agree with him.

I wake up, deal with the morning ablutions and I am followed by the pitter patter of little feet. Feline feet carrying kittens and a young adult who wonder why their human would prefer they didn't follow her into that one particular room in the house. After all, it's din din time. She's up, so it must be din din time! They are on the brink of starvation after not having eaten for three years! Okay, so its only been since last night but hey, who cares. Food is of the utmost importance for a cat.

The two factions in the house, cat and child, tolerate each other at best and avoid each other completely at worst. I think that it's all a scam, that avoidance. Sometime around midnight or so I think they get together and plot. Their objective? Food. At the most unreasonable time of morning. The Bottomless Pit and the Feline Mafia work together to achieve this goal. Get her up by any means possible: Belching. Rattling around in the kitchen. Singing. A tail in the face. A furry weight on the chest. Incessant mewing.  And so the day begins. The two warring sides, sated, go back to their wary acknowledgement of the enemy and continue with their day. 

Gratituesday: Grateful For Mothers

 Did you have a good Mother's Day on Sunday? I did. We visited my mother in law and mother the day before, and on Sunday we went to worship, and my husband cooked a spaghetti dinner and made a no bake cheesecake for dessert. I was able to sit and read several chapters of a book, and got a nap in as well. I enjoyed every minute of the day.
  These days I'm thankful, not only to be a mother, but for mothers everywhere. The two in my life both teach me different things, one particularly loves teaching more about the bible and lives her life as a Christian example. Both impart their wisdom and encouragement.
  No matter where we've lived there have been women I look up to and think of as mother figures, especially when my own is far away. There are always ones who consciously or unconsciously live Titus 2:3  Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, (New American Standard). Some teach through their lives how to be good mothers, good wives, more importantly, to follow Jesus and his teachings.
  I watch the younger mothers and am thankful for them also. I see the joy as they speak of their children, even as sometimes they would like a little more sleep, or few minutes of quiet from the day long chatter of a youngster. I learn from them as well. 
  I know we wonder at times, if there is any hope for this world, whether there is still good here. There is. Yes, sin is rampant, and some people are so far away from God that a child's life means nothing to them, but I've seen the mothers and grandmothers who live their lives as a Christian example, and I see the younger ones who were taught by these ladies and follow their example, their teachings. I see the children from two to 20 who glorify God and do well because their mothers have been teaching them from day one. For mothers everywhere, raising their children in the admonition of the Lord, I am thankful.
Join us for Gratituesday at Heavenly Homemakers!

A Morning Cup of Tea: Jesus and Children

Good morning !  I hope you slept well last night. For the first time in a long while I slept through the night without a single wake up, and I am very thankful for it. I feel well rested and ready to meet the day. I'm bad, however, at planning productive things to do on Saturdays, so I guess I'll just play it by ear and see what happens.
  Today we are focusing on just three verses in chapter ten of Mark. Verses 13 through 16. Some people brought children to Jesus to touch and bless. The disciples tried to stop them, probably thinking that Jesus had more important matters to deal with to bother with little children.
 14. But when Jesus saw it, he was much displeased, and said unto them, Suffer the little children to come unto me, and forbid them not; for of such is the kingdom of God.
15. Verily I say unto you, Whosoever shall not receive the kingdom of God as a little child, he shall not enter therein.
16. And he took them up in his arms, put his hands upon them, and blessed them.
  As mothers of very young children, sometimes it can be a little discouraging to bring a baby or a toddler to worship. They cry, they fidget, they are loud, they ask questions, etc. If you add autism into the mix, it can be even more discouraging. The temptation to stay home until the child(ren) are older can be strong. I plead with you, don't give in to it. Just being there you may be an encouragement to others. And the children are learning: how to behave during worship, about Jesus and the love of God, and they are learning that the first day of the week has a special importance.  Yes, it is hard to think fully about why we take the memorial bread and fruit of the vine, and yes, it can be hard to get much out of the sermon when you're taking a little one to be changed or calmed or whatever. I've been there more times than I can count. Sometimes my son still has excessively fidgety moments and we deal with them. 
  Ladies of the congregation who don't have young children or children with autism,  please hear me: your help and encouragement is greatly needed. I have been in congregations where my son's exuberance was met with frowns or standoffishness (perceived) and at some points I stopped attending. While the responsibility is ultimately mine, no one called. No one checked to see why we weren't showing up. That is very discouraging to a young mother. 
  I have also been blessed to be part of congregations where there was (is) much encouragement. The congregation we worship with now has been such a blessing. The first Sunday we were there J was loud. It was a new place with new faces and although he understands there are certain rules we follow for church, he was dealing with the newness in his typical manner. I took him to a classroom where I could still hear and he could relax a bit. After service, I was a little shy because of how loud he'd been. I needn't have worried. Several of those precious women stopped to say hello and welcome us, and some looked directly at J and spoke with him. That meant so much to me. It still brings tears to my eyes to think of such love.
  We should encourage our young mothers and fathers. Be understanding when a child cries out. Jesus didn't forbid them to be near. He said let them come to me. 
 Our faith should be like that of a child: honest, forgiving easily, trusting fully that they will be taken care of and loved. They love others fairly easily too, and until taught differently see no difference in color of skin, dialect, or mannerism. The innocence of a child is a wonderful thing. Bring them to church. Continue teaching them. If you have no children at home, encourage the younger ones in the congregation. These are our future teachers, song leaders, preachers and preacher's wives. Our future missionaries. Bring them.

Life at Home

Here at home life is never really dull. My house is spotless at all times, my husband comes home to warm smiles, a welcome home kiss, and dinner on the table. My son never gives one minute of trouble and is a delight, even in public.


Um, not so much. That's a fantasy, pure and simple. Want to know the truth?



 My husband works hard at what he does. He does work at a job that allows me to contact him at almost any time. Which I have done. To let him know just how wonderful life is here at home. Ahem. And when he comes home he's ready (most times) to pitch in and fix dinner if need be or point the direction to the bedroom and say "go take a nap."  He's a good Christian man, a good husband and father. I am blessed.

  My son is eighteen (18!! How did that happen?). He has autism. He's nonverbal yet is almost never quiet, struggles with some day to day issues yet is very intelligent. He loves music. Any kind -Christian, 70's disco, 80s hair bands, Latin, classical, oldies.

   J also has a tendency to fill empty corners and terrorize the cats when he is agitated. He gets upset in large crowds. But he's usually very happy. He likes things to be just so. I'm still trying to figure out why the screen above the baptismal pool at the church building irritates him. Every chance he gets  he is off to put that thing away. I would dearly love to get into his head and find out what he's thinking.

   And then there's me. House work has never been my strong point. I'm constantly struggling with it. I'd much rather be reading -to myself or to my son, writing,  crafting.  I am usually the family secretary. I keep up with doctor appointments and try to remember hubby's rotating schedule at work.  I work with my son when I can --not so much on academics but on social skills and life skills. He does his best to avoid all that but he will do things for a few minutes at a time.  And to help relax, I like playing on Pogo with my friends.

   Well, there you have it. A tiny glimpse into life at home.  Not perfect by any means, but there are moments when the house is actually the way I want it and nothing is going haywire. I do complain some, mostly to my longsuffering husband, but really, I enjoy my life. I have to go now. Two tomcats are preparing to do battle on my kitchen table, laundry awaits, and J is hungry. Bye for now! : )