Sunday, July 22, 2012


 I have had what is commonly known in the parenting world as "enough". J has been up all night again. He's had his meds. It didn't do a bit of good. He stayed up all night long. 
   I don't know what to do to handle this. I tried sitting up with him. The Hubby sent me to bed when he got home from work so I could get some sleep. He stayed up as long as he could before exhaustion hit. I tried  giving him extra food at night. He's not hungry. I tried ignoring the bouncing and wall banging. It just progressed and got louder and worse. Even when I'm supposed to be asleep, how much sleep can you really get when  A) you know the neighbors absolutely have to be hearing the shrieks and the thumps and what not, and B) and  most importantly, you know there is something wrong and there isn't a thing you can do about it? 
   I hate autism. Absolutely detest it. I love my son. Make no mistake, I absolutely love my son, but I abhor autism. I don't get the behavior that can be destructive. Don't understand the need to be up all night. Hate the fact that he has to be on meds and at this point they don't seem to be helping. 
  Yesterday I was all positive about the insomnia, thinking we had it licked and that it was a one time deal. Now I'm not so sure. I'm sleep deprived, as he is, only a little less so because my body won't allow me to stay up all night. I eventually fall asleep whether I want to or not. 
  I honestly do not know what to do.

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