A Morning Cup of Tea: A Study of Esther Part 5

Good afternoon! While we were late getting to worship, we were there this morning. I don't know about you, but my day, my week even, goes so much better when I'm able to connect face to face with my sisters and brothers in Christ. 
            Because Sundays are filled with family and worship, this one really will be tried and true. Today we are focusing on chapter 7 of Esther. Ahasuerus and Haman are attending the second feast that Esther has prepared for them. The king once again asks Esther what is it her heart desires, and he is prepared to give her anything, up to half his kingdom. She asks for her life, and those of her people, to be spared. She told the king that someone had decided to kill them. When Ahasuerus asks who would do this, Esther points to Haman.
  The king, understandably, is furious. The whole story probably came out during this. The king leaves the feast and goes out into the garden, I'm assuming to calm down so he doesn't take Haman's life right then and there.  Haman realizes the situation he's in so he takes after Esther to plead for his life. But the king sees Haman on the Queen's bed and assumes Haman is trying to force himself on her. It is revealed that Haman had built a gallows in which to hang Mordecai. In a case of letting the punishment fit the crime, Haman is hanged on his own gallows.
    We will finish up the book of Esther in the next day or so, but I love Esther's story so much. God is able to use each of us, whether we are a young orphan girl turned queen or a mother of a young adult with autism, or the bride of a preacher, or any other role you find yourself in. Esther was timid at first, but she had much faith.  

 

A Mornin Cup of Tea: A Study of Esther part 4

The Plan

This is a small study of the book of Esther. If you would like to catch up you can find part one here, 

part 2 here 

and part 3 here.

Today we are reading chapters 5 and 6. My notes from this one may seem hurried or short and sweet because my J Man is wide awake and very vocal. He's had a quick breakfast of pizza eggs (2 eggs scrambled with three pepperonis that have been julienned and a sprinkle of mozzarella cheese) and he is very happy.

  

Esther and her maids, along with the Jews in Shushan, have fasted and prayed for three days. On the third day Esther dressed in her royal clothes and went to see king Ahasuerus. He sees her waiting and points his golden scepter at her. Because of his love for her, he asks her request and tells her she can have anything she wants, up to half of his kingdom. "If it pleases the king, then you and Haman come to a feast I've made for you today," was her reply. So simple. The king accepts. The two have a fine old time at the feast and Ahasuerus asks again, what is your request? Ask for up to half the kingdom and it will be given to you. Once again, Esther simply asks that they both come to a feast for them that she will prepare tomorrow. They accept.

    On the way home Haman is pleased with himself. He got to dine with the king and the queen by special request and he gets to do it again tomorrow! Nothing can take away his happiness. That is, until he catches sight of Mordecai sitting at the gate. Mordecai did not so much as stand up when Haman came by, much less bow to him. There goes that happy mood he was in. And it's all Mordecai's fault. 

 Now, stop for a moment. Do you ever catch yourself doing that? I was having a great day but so and so did something to ruin it. Or this happened and there went my day. I've done that a time or two. And all I can think now is :really? you're going to allow someone else or a bump in the road take away your joy? Most of the time those things that suddenly turn our blue skies gray aren't worth even the time it takes to growl and stomp and fume. It may seem like it at the time, but most times, once we look back at it, it's not really worth even a frown. Don't give anyone or anything power to rule your emotions for you. 

   True joy isn't being deliriously happy 24/7. I don't think anyone would ever feel like that. Joy should be in our hearts when we know that our lives belong to the One True God. We put our hopes and our fears in his hands. If you are a Christian, you know that setbacks on this earth are temporary, in the long run. If we hear the word, believe, repent, are baptized, and strive to live the way God wants us, we get everlasting life with him in heaven. Yes, our hearts are going to be broken a time or two or even more here on earth. It's okay to grieve for those. In Haman's case, however, just the sight of a man who refused to bow before him gave him cause to frown.

  The king could not sleep that night so he called for someone to read to him from the book chronicling all that happened during his reign. It was from this reading that Ahasuerus was reminded that Mordecai had once saved his life by reporting of the two chamberlains who meant to harm him. As it happened, Haman was wishing to see him. The king called him in and asked his opinion of how to reward a man in such high favor. 

  Now, you know this put a huge silly grin on Haman's face! Remember, Haman has a huge ego because of his position. So he tells the king, send him royal clothes by way of one of the highest princes. Let him ride through town wearing the royal clothes on a royal horse, and let him wear the royal crown.  The king agrees to this --and then says to Haman, You take the clothes and the horse and the crown to Mordecai the Jew --and that grin freezes. Maybe even dims a little bit.  He did as the king asked though, because you just don't disobey the king's command. And it galled him so much to help Mordecai dress up and parade him through the area showing this high honor, he went home afterward in mourning, with his head covered. Translation? He pouted! He doesn't really want to do anything other than stay home and sulk for a bit, but he has another feast to attend with the king and queen. 

  I hope you are enjoying the study of Esther as much as I am.         

 

A Morning Cup of Tea: A Study of Esther, Part 3

Enter Haman

 Please read chapters 3 and 4 of Esther.

Yesterday we read that the king loved Esther above all the others and crowned her queen. The king gave a large feast and gave gifts to many. 

  It was during this time that Mordecai sat at the city gate. He heard two chamberlains, Bigthan and Teresh, who were angry and were looking to harm the king. Mordecai got word to Esther, who let the king know, and the two were put to death. The king knew that Mordecai was the one who saved his life.

  Sometime after, Haman was promoted to a high position in the kingdom. A decree was given that everyone would bow to Haman because of his position, and everyone followed it. That is, everyone except Mordecai. It came to Haman's attention that he would not bow, and the fact that Mordecai was a Jew.

  Position sometimes inflates the ego, or in a phrase from back in the day (and yes, I'm probably dating myself with this) Haman got the big head. He wasn't about to let this pass. No way. Haman went to the king and told him that there was a group of people in the kingdom that don't follow the king's commands. They are different from everyone else. It's not good for the king to let these people live.  I'll pay ten thousand talents of silver to the kings treasuries if you'll let me kill them.

  King Ahasuerus thought this was a good idea, and a decree was sent out. On a certain day, all Jews, young and old, male and female, would die. This sent everyone into mourning, including Mordecai. He ripped his clothes and dressed in sackcloth and ashes and set himself up at the city gate, wailing and crying.

   Word of Mordecai's mourning came to Esther. She sent clothes to him and asked that he remove the sackcloth and ashes, because no one was allowed inside the gate unless properly dressed. Mordecai refused the clothing. He sent word to Esther news of the decree and asked that she intercede to the king.

   It had been a few years since she had be crowned queen, and she still had not revealed her heritage. Because of all the favors she had garnered, she was probably fairly well settled in her lifestyle. Or maybe she was just hesitant to risk the wrath of the king. No one, not even the queen was allowed in the court without a summons from the king. If you did show up unannounced, you were most certainly put to death unless the king held out his scepter to you. Esther reminded Mordecai of this fact.

   Cousin Mordecai sent back word: Don't think that just because you now live at the palace as queen that you will be spared once it's known that you too are a Jew. Don't be selfish. What if this is the very reason you became queen, so that you could prevent this slaughter?

   Esther's words to Mordecai show her true strength of character. Tell everyone to pray for me, and to fast, night and day, for three days. Don't eat or drink anything. My maids and I will do the same thing. Then I will go see the king. If I perish, then I perish.

   That's a pretty heavy responsibility, knowing that the lives of so many people rest on your shoulders. But Esther, though hesitant at first, is willing to try and save her people. She knows that prayer and fasting will give her strength. She's trusting God to see her through this. I think that's one of the reasons why I like the book of Esther so much. She shows such strength even though her first thought is to shy away from trying. 

  I love hearing your thoughts on this.          

A Morning Cup of Tea: A Study of Esther part 2

This morning as I was reading chapter two of Esther (in the car on the way to run errands) I began wondering how Hadassah--Esther-- must feel. An orphan, she was taken into her cousin Mordecai's home to be raised. Still at a young age (I'm not sure how old she would be at this time) she is taken to live at the palace in the women's quarters, as part of the search for the new queen. The bible tells us she is very beautiful, and because of her beauty (I'm guessing her beauty included her attitude and temperament as well) she gained the favor of the chamberlain. She was given the best area of the house, seven maids, and along with all the other young women, oils of myrrh and sweet fragrances during their twelve month stay and purification.    Mordecai has not left her alone. He works in the area and checks on her every day. 
  Esther has been told by Mordecai not to reveal that she is a Jew, and she hasn't. I wonder if she ate things and did things that went against her faith, or did she find a way to circumvent that without raising suspicion? We know in later chapters that she was a very intelligent and resourceful woman. The bible does not say one way or the other so my thoughts are purely speculation on that point.
  At the end of twelve months, each of the girls were to spend a night with the king, and would afterward go to live in the concubine's house, never to see the king again unless he specifically called for her. Esther found much favor with King Ahasuerus. He loved her above all others and made her queen. Even after being made queen, she kept her heritage a secret, as Mordecai asked her to.
   Tomorrow we will look more at Esther. I love reading your comments, even when I don't reply. I look forward to hearing your thoughts on Esther.   

A Morning Cup of Tea: A Study of Esther

When I first began this blog, one thing I wanted to do was to keep track of my bible study. Sadly, I let it fall away for the longest time. I tried bible study on my own, but each time I'd end up stopping for some reason or another. Knowing that I would be writing my notes here on the blog each day kept me accountable. It worked for me, so I'm bringing it back.
  Last week my family went to the funeral of a dear lady. She was a good Christian woman, and one thing that was said about her, among many, is that she knew her bible well. She'd start in the beginning, read it from cover to cover, and start over again. She kept the word of God in her heart, and quite obviously fresh on her mind each day. She lived by the Word. 
  To me, she was the epitome of southern hospitality. I didn't know her as well as my husband did --she moved to be closer to family shortly after we married--but she welcomed guests into her home, fed them, and talked with them for long periods of time. And of course, she loved to talk scripture. It poured from her. There is another like her. My mother in law. But I'm getting off track here. 
     Today I began to read the book of Esther. The first chapter deals with king Ahasuerus. The very first verse says he ruled over 127 provinces, from India to Ethiopia. That's quite a spread! In the third year of his reign, Ahasuerus decided to throw this elaborate banquet for the nobles. They partied for several days with lots of food and wine. Vashti, the queen, had her own party in the royal house for the women. They spared no expense on all this. 
  Vashti was a beautiful woman, and Ahasuerus knew this. On the seventh day of feasting, being fairly well drunk, he sent for Vashti to come to him. He wanted to show off his lovely queen. Now, when the king calls you, you show up, no questions asked. He is after all, the king and it would be an insult (and could prove quite dangerous) to displease the king. But Vashti, for whatever reason, refused to make an appearance. Perhaps she had a headache and just did not feel well. Or maybe she just did not want to be shown off to a bunch of drunk men. She was sent for and she refused. 
    The king, not used to being ignored like this, was quite angry. His advisors told him to banish her. Give her position and estate to someone else. After all, the women of Persia and Media looked to Vashti as an example. If she could defy her husband like that and get away with it, the other women might defy their own husbands. Vashti would no longer be allowed time with the king. Ahasuerus agreed to this and it was so.
  In time his anger waned, but he remembered that she had refused him and now was banished by his own decree. But a king needs a queen so he went to his advisors once again, and they came up with an idea to, well, audition for a queen. They would choose the most beautiful young maidens of the land and they would come to the palace to live for a year. They'd be given beauty treatments and such, and one by one they would spend time with the king himself. Then he could choose one of them to be his new queen. In chapter two, which I had just begun to read before I had to stop, Esther was introduced. We will talk more about her tomorrow.
   It seems strange that the King and Queen would celebrate separately, and the queen would be at her husband's side only at his request, but this was the custom of the day. Vashti knew her role and she risked everything by defying her husband's command. And during this time is a young girl in the care of her cousin, with no idea that she would soon be a queen. Hope to see you tomorrow so we can continue.

The Gift of Time and Motherhood

Have you ever watched children (perhaps your own) arguing? One invariably says "I'm never speaking to you again!" and storms off. Five minutes later they're best friends again. Our ability to forgive and forget should be that easy.
   Yesterday morning was very hard. J was in the midst of a meltdown and The Hubs wasn't too happy himself. All I could think was, this is it. We have to place him in a home. I can't have a normal life here. I can't even keep the place clean. And it wasn't even that bad of a meltdown, as far as those go. If the one he had a few weeks ago when he tore the padding off the roof of the car was a ten on the meltdown scorecard, then this one was at best a 5. We ended up giving him behavior medicine. Calms him down fairly quickly but takes away his appetite and that eventually frustrates us both. 
   The rest of the day was fine. We followed our usual routine and had our music in the afternoon. He loves that. My ears are ringing after music time because he likes it L*O*U*D. But we were both happy. And I was already letting go of the idea that it was time for him to be in  a home. I know that one day that decision will have to be made. After all, I've talked about it a time or two on this blog and numerous times with The Hubs. It's not a decision I want to make, and I don't want it to be made when I'm angry. That will only lead to regret. 
  This morning I woke from a dream in which some guy was accusing J of taking his soda and drinking from it. Possible, because I've seen him do it to family members. We're still working on personal space and property. In the dream I explained that he was autistic and replaced the soda, but the man was in the corner with his wife loudly proclaiming that, in so many words, autism is  a scam. I told the man to shush. I've seen rude people before, but sheesh! In my dream that worked. But I woke up from the dream and heard J already awake and upset. He'd gone to bed without much dinner because of the effects of the medicine, and he was understandably hungry! So now I'm typing away and after being fed, he's happily rocking in his chair. 
   I've been a mother for over 20 years and I'm still learning. There are days when I wish that life could be a bit more normal and he'd be at college or otherwise on his own. At the very least somewhere else. But I'd miss his happy chatter each day. I'd miss the smiles and the hugs that rarely appear but do show up from time to time, making them more precious than diamonds to me. 
   This is new territory for us, having an adult in the house with a largely child like mind. There are things he simply does not understand so he handles them the only way he can. But we'll figure it out. We have time. For now I'll continue to enjoy life as a mom. 

This post is linked to Heavenly Homemakers Gratituesday.
and Titus2sdays.  Please check out both and connect to other women.

Mama on a Mission: Caring for Adult Children with Autism

Here in Georgia, autism is in the news. Thanks to Ava's Law, kids with autism may just be covered by insurance. This is wonderful news because our children need so much care. ABA, speech therapy, occupational therapy, to name a few and none of this comes cheap. In fact, so many get dropped through the cracks of the system as it is right now because parents can't afford it and schools do little enough to help. Argue with me if you must but that's what I've seen of a few different school districts in a few different states including this one.
  As the mother of an adult with autism, though, I tend to wonder just how much Ava's Law would benefit my son. Will he be able to access speech and behavioral therapy? Would he be able to see a DAN! doctor? I have a lot to learn about this particular piece of legislature but no matter what I will support it fully. It is a struggle and a half to reach our kids sometimes, and bring them to the point of saying "mama" or following directions, and continuing on. 
  Looking further into the future, I'm dealing with the question of what happens to J if something happens to The Hubby and me, or if he just cannot live with us anymore because he is a danger to himself or us? It's not something I like to think about, but it's a possibility that I cannot ignore. The following is something I wrote on my facebook page yesterday:(This is straight from my page, no modifications, just what I wrote as I felt it)

 Warning: I'm on a rant. Don't have to agree with anything I say, don't have to read it. I just want to get all this written down and out in black and white . Do you know how hard it is to raise a special needs child? I mean, really know. Doctor's appointments, dealing with school IEPs and battling with teachers and aides who don't want to do their job, trying to figure out how to potty train a child who doesn't always understand. Then paying for pullups on your own because it's not covered elsewhere. I get it . He's mine. I love him. I adore him. He's my responsibilities and if I had my way I'd be able to provide for him without any help. Not in this country of high taxes. Won't. Ever. Happen. Then the child grows to be an adult and thoughts come up. What happens when I die? Who will take care of him then? Can I manage to keep him in my home even until I die? And of course while we're struggling with decisions like that, somebody or other pipes up and says "someday he will *have* to go to a home. Well meaning. I get it. But I have to say, Maybe. Maybe not. Very easy for someone to say when they don't have a special needs child to raise and care for and love.
So you start looking online. Where to start? Google. Uh huh. A list a mile and a half long that is 85% senior care, if not more than that. A very small handful of places that specifically state home for persons with autism. All NOWHERE NEAR HERE!!!!! Other facilities are listed just as a name and and address and phone number. No clue whether they are foster, residential, senior care, or a pizza joint. Not happening.
Step two: Google again and find an autism website that lists residential care. Click on that. Click again on the state. Still a bunch of pure, unadulterated bull, along with some businesses that may or may not be residential. Case in point? The only help in my area that I keep getting sent to, Hereby known as Bluebeard's Bluff Behavioral Business (Obviously fake but some readers would know it in a heartbeat and may try to defend them. Don't do it. I'm not in the mood.) Bluebeard's has *NOTHING* to do with residential care. They give out halfway good advice, listen with a third of an ear, and hand out scripts for meds that would stun a moose and keep him drooling for days. So. Not. Happening. There is one place that could help but with someone's work schedule, NOT possible. Respite? HA!!! Not in this area.
In this state your loved one has to be in a place halfway across the state from you, be placed in a mental institution (NOT acceptable), or you keep them with you until you die or they become too unmanageable to keep at home and we're back to square one. Having a special needs child is not for the weak of heart or the poor. But poor I am. As I said before, He's mine. I want to do what's best for him. There has to be something better than what this state is offering, cuz moving out of state is not an option unless it's the one to the right, and I'd so love that. Still looking for a house, especially in that area. Maybe, just maybe, they have better options. Until then though, I'm stuck in this area.
Am I ready to find a residential place for him? Nope. I think I am at times, but folks, I'm his mother. I trust no one , especially when it comes to strangers, with his care. I also know his behavior, and I've seen an aunt moved from home to home to home till no one can tell us where she is -- because of her behaviour. I will not have that happen to my son. I've seen headlines about parents and what they've done and went right along with everyone else with the how dare they's and the how could they's. I know how dare they and how could they. It's called desperation. This is NOT some post that someone will point to and say she needs him taken away blah blah blah. Just ranting to hear myself rant, folks. He's mine and trust me, I'd be the first to do something if I thought either of us was in danger. I just need some direction. And GA needs to get with the program and get its collective head out of the sand because autism is not going away.

    As you can see I had a lot to say.Mama got frustrated to say the least! But I have plans to contact my representatives about this soon, and I also have a dream. I would love to see residential/day facilities in each county or at least in tri-county areas that will benefit those with autism. I would love to see it privately funded if possible. If I ever become successful enough in my writing to the point that i could do it for at least one area, I will. If God wills it, I would love to see this help come about. I'm still in the thinking stages of what is needed, but I'd love your input as well, if you are the parent/caregiver of a child or adult child with autism.