Confessions of a Disorganized Housewife: Learning Not to Be an Oscar Madison

Cleaning and organizing do not come easily to me. Some people are born organizers and seem to have an innate sense of where everything goes. Then there are those of us who have the Oscar Madison gene. 

 Photocredit: www.starpulse.com

Most people I know fall in between the two ends of the spectrum. I however, fit in with Oscar Madison. (For those of you unfamiliar with the Odd Couple, Oscar is the one on the left, played by the late Jack Klugman. Yes, I know I'm old.)

However, if you're an Oscar like I am, there is hope. I promise. Inside me there is a neat freak screaming to get out. But I usually can shut her up with a pile of magazines or a new book to read. Mmmhmmm.  

As i stated above, there is hope.  While not 100% neat 100% of the time, I live in a home that I could open the door to company without cringing (much. Just don't open the door to the Bear Cave.). If you want perfection, wrong house. If you want to come visit and have some tea and maybe some cake or cookies, come on over!

So how did I get to that point? I moved. Here are some tips I've learned through trial and error and years(!!) of reading books and magazine articles and following blogs dedicated to cleaning and organizing:

• Move. Seriously. Actually, not so seriously. If you are moving soon, great!  If not, pretend you are. In either case, while boxing up belongings, pay attention to what you have and purge what you can.
• In purging, give yourself this test: Do I love it? Is it useful? Does it hold sentimental value? If you can't get a yes to at least one of those questions, toss it, donate it or sell it. 
• Focus on the amount of space you have. For instance, the bedroom closet. Mine is the size of a shoebox and I share it with The Hubs. Do I really need eleventy-hundred pairs of jeans? NO! Cute as they all are, you can't wear all of them. If you have the clothing budget and the closet space to match, go for it. If not, choose a reasonable number and donate the rest. Share the wealth. Bonus: Fewer pairs of jeans means less laundry to deal with.
• When it comes to free things (samples, hand me downs), Learn. To. Say. No. Can I do it? Nuh uh. Nope. If I think I can use it, I happily accept offerings. But I'm learning to use a discerning eye .  I choose what I can use and then I pass the rest on to someone else who can be blessed. 

These are just a few tips that are helping me. I have one more for the kitchen. Both Flylady and A Slob Comes Clean suggest starting with the sink. Flylady says shine your sink, Nony suggests doing your dishes. I tend to agree. Once you do your dishes and the sink is nice and shiny, it spurs you on to other cleaning activities.  That being said, it's time for me to get busy cleaning. Have a great day!

Autism Awareness

Autism awareness month is just around the corner. For this family though, that's pretty much every month. Every day we deal with it. We aren't alone in this.  The prevalence is 1 in 88 births. For males, the rate is higher. We still do not know what causes autism. Although there are a lot of theories out there, it's frustrating that an awful lot of money seems to be spent on "proving" what doesn't cause autism. Personally I think there are a few culprits out there, but I'm not a scientist so no one really cares what i believe on that point. 

Yes, I do believe that vaccines are part of the problem. I also believe that there are other factors involved. Furthermore, I believe there are things that we can do to help our children. Are children with autism ever totally "cured"?  I don't know, quite honestly. 

In the next several weeks, each Wednesday I would like to post about autism. Facts, websites, personal stories from parents/relatives/ those who work with children and adults with autism. Please feel free to contact me with your own stories: the good, the bad and the ugly. Do you use medications to help your child? Therapies? Alternative helps such as diet, essential oils? Please feel free to contact me via email (duckigrrl@gmail.com). Please put Autism in the subject line so I'll know.  Also, feel free to contact me on Facebook or leave comments here. I do ask that messages be respectful. Please be aware that I may share what you tell me, although I will not use names unless given permission to do so. 

Gratituesday: Mi Vida Loca --My Crazy Life

I really should be composing an ode to Laura, over at Heavenly Homemakers,
for encouraging me week after week to sit and think about what I'm grateful for. Seriously. Sometimes it is far too easy to get overwhelmed in the day to day drama of bills and kids and housework and everything else...that you (I) forget to sit back and realize the blessings all around us.

I'm going to actually sit here and reflect on the craziness that is my life. The Hubs is still asleep, which is okay because it's the first day of his "weekend" and for once we aren't scheduled to go anywhere today, that I know of. I'm sure I'm forgetting something around here though. 

J is in his room, making a noise that is a cross between a belch and a sneeze. No, he isn't sick. It's a habit he picked up thanks to his cousin and he uses it to remind me that he's not yet had breakfast. No, he's not starving. He's simply bored at this point. If he was truly hungry I would be pulled off the computer or any other task that I happened to be on and led to the fridge. Yeah, he likes to give strong hints. He takes eating very seriously. 

I am the daughter of a woman who somehow thinks I can read minds. One line I hear almost every time we visit is "I could have used your help" on yesterday, last week, five minutes ago. The crazy thing is, she is as averse to the phone as I am. The only person she willingly calls herself is her sister. If she has to, she will make an appointment over the phone, but rarely because she has a hearing problem. Most all phone calls go through my brother, who lives with her. 

I'm at the age where most parents are watching their kids graduate from high school, enter college and/or the workforce, date, have lives of their own. I'm still in the midst of pullups, working on communication skills, and figuring out just who my son is inside that head of his. The grandchildren that come my way are either honorary or feline. And yes, we are on grandcat watch as we speak. Poor Lucy is miserable and crabby with Raven and Charlie, and I don't blame her. She just wants to be left alone. And yes,  she will be spayed just as soon as the kittens are weaned. 

And me? I'm wading through it all, trying to figure it all out and trying to keep up with housework, writing, being a wife, a mom, a sister, and all the other hats that I and every other woman out there wear. I get it wrong more often than not, and I growl and fuss and cry and complain at times. But you know what? I like this life of mine even when I feel lonely or confused or frustrated. Okay, maybe not as much when I feel those things, but I am very blessed and I know it. I'm thankful for this life of mine. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a bored child to redirect and a day to begin. What are you thankful for today? I'd love to hear about it.

  Older photos of me and my guys.

This post is being shared as part of Gratituesday on Heavenly Homemakers.

Confessions of a Disorganized Housewife: Spring Cleaning and Plans for the House

Good morning! It's a beautiful, sunny day here in my area. Daylight savings time is upon us. The clocks have been set forward an hour (really, I don't get why we still do that but that's a rant for another day) and like a lot of people, my mind is on spring cleaning. Well, for me, my mind is on cleaning in general. Because of the move, a few things like turning mattresses and general cleanup have been done already. But now that we deal with gas for heat and cooking, I get to learn all about that type of upkeep. The windows could stand a good washing (we have awnings from way back in the day on some of the windows so I get to figure out how to wash the outsides of the windows), and I'm pretty sure the awnings need to be cleaned as well. Looks like I'll be starting a honey do list for The Hubs. He's better at cleaning the rain gutters and that type of thing.  It's also time to get moving on a garden and doing a little landscaping out there. I have lots of plans for this home, and hopefully I will share a little of that with you as the weeks go by. Because of our limited budget, not everything on our list will get done this year, but that's okay. 

In sprucing up on the inside, I really want to get some painting done, especially in the two bedrooms.

These two photos were taken before we moved. The top is the master bedroom and is a really bright pink. I love pink, I really do. But that is a bit too bright for me. The Hubs has agreed to a much softer shade of pink. The carpet I'm not so concerned with because as soon as I can replace it with laminate or anything else that fits my budget and looks like hardwood and will last a long while, it's outta here, baby! Carpets in my opinion hold a lot of dust, dirt and cat hair, even when you vacuum regularly. I'd rather sweep and damp mop and keep going. 

The bottom room there has very poor lighting for the photo. The paint looks chocolate brown there but is more of a cross between chocolate and raspberry. I'm not crazy about it. The bear cave is going to become a blue-green. Since the bear cave is J's room, I don't think curtains will go in there at all. I'm thinking sturdier blinds, and very few additions other than removing the carpet for something simpler. He is truly zen. He does not like a lot of clutter in his space. In fact, the barer, the better. I will honor his wishes on that. 

Now that I've shown you the "before" pictures of the bedrooms, I will be sure to keep you updated when the rooms are done.  For now though, my sweet husband has informed me it's time to eat , and then I need to finish my laundry and thin out the growing stack of magazines, not to mention catch up on my filing. Happy Monday!

Celebrating 21 Years

Twenty One years of blogging? Ha! Not even close. I've been writing, off and on and mostly for my own pleasure, at least since I was 14. But nope, that's not what this post is about.

My J Man, Baby Bear, Singing Bird (as dubbed by his Granny), JJ is now 21. Well, officially he's been that for a week or so. My baby boy is no longer a baby. At least, he isn't anymore in the world's eyes. But to this mama, the five foot nine or so inches tall guy with the long hair and beard and laughing eyes will always be my baby.

I say this a lot, but it amazes me how fast time flies. One day he's born after two days of on again off again contractions. Lots of walking, resting, hanging out with family until things really get moving and it's time to go to the hospital. We had no car at the time so my niece had to chauffeur us. And somehow that meant she had to leave my mother at the grocery store! Thankfully a family friend was also shopping that day and was able to take Ma home.

Next thing I know he's walking on tip toes, stacking legoes taller than himself, and spinning everything from toys to quarters to cookware lids to himself, flapping his hands a lot, and at times, turning his head and screaming. Things I recognize now as a few indicators of autism (there are a lot more but we'll go into those another time).

Jump ahead a few more days (years, truthfully) and suddenly here he is, all grown up. He's come a long way, and he continues teaching me things every day. I wonder what the next 21 years will bring?

Gratituesday: So Thankful to be Home

I've been MIA entirely too long, and for that I apologize. If I have any faithful readers left, thank you for hanging in there and waiting for me to get back to writing again. I've missed this.

As of the publication of this post, The Hubs, Baby Bear and I have been in our new home for about three weeks now. I am so grateful for all the prayers, encouragement, and help in finding our Home Sweet House over the past several months. (There is a movie reference in that last sentence. Classic movie buffs may catch it. ) Indeed, we have been very blessed.  Our dear church family in our former hometown knew our situation and helped us find this sweet place. I am so grateful.

Slowly but surely we are settling into our new nest and making it ours. I have so many ideas for painting, decorating, and already a list of things that need to be updated. But you know what? As anxious as I am to get started on the myriad projects, I'm content to let things go at an easy pace. This home isn't going anywhere, and I'm not planning on moving anytime in the next five, ten years, or even longer. True, we never know what the future holds, but I'm happy right where I am.

I never really thought I would like living in a large town, especially after the sleepy little hamlet we just came from where I could pretty much walk all over town and not even have to worry much about traffic, but I feel at home here. The neighborhood is quite close to a main highway, but the neighbors are nice and friendly. The Hubs no longer has an hour long (one way) commute to work. In fact, it takes him less than five minutes to his office. And J seems much happier here as well. His vocalizations are more frequent, he spends more time in the living room now instead of being holed up in his bedroom all the time, and he is making better eye contact. Those are all huge pluses for this family.

This post is being shared as part of Heavenly Homemakers Gratituesday. 

Sex Education

I don't have a child in public school at this point in my life. Like I did with J, I'd most likely home school. Although I know several public school teachers who are great and obviously love their jobs, I have entirely too many reasons I don't want that path for my children. I'm not knocking all teachers nor do I have a problem with all schools, just school in general. But that's another blog post entirely.


Today I happened to be scanning my Facebook page and noticed this.  I just about choked when I read it. I don't want to add a picture because of the nature of the article. I know sometimes younger kids buzz around when Mom is online and I believe that sex is something that should be taught about at home, when the parents think the child is ready. This article shows a poster that was placed in a middle school, describing things that people do to show they care for one another. It includes hugging, kissing, touching and sexual acts. 

The parent who saw this thought surely this had to be a prank, but no. The school board was quite pleased to have that as part of their curriculum for sex education. 

If I am to be labeled "out of it", a prude, old fashioned, not realistic in my views, so be it. If my child attended that school and I saw that poster, my child would be withdrawn immediately. It's inappropriate.

I believe that children should be taught about sex--in an age appropriate manner. I do not believe that a 13 year old is ready mentally or emotionally for a sexual relationship. Instead of giving teens and pre teens the green light to go ahead and play with something that can be very dangerous, how about teaching them that they can and should respect themselves and those they care about (girlfriend or boyfriend) enough to wait. The reasons for waiting are myriad. The pleasure they may get from casual sex is all too brief and can come with some very serious consequences:STDs, heartbreak, pregnancy to name a few. And I won't even open the can of worms called teen pregnancy. That's for another time.

I once knew someone who thought that sex was great and should be available for anyone, regardless of age. Sex is indeed great, in the right context. I also believe that guns and cars are great tools and are useful for many people. But I would never dare to put either in the hands of a child who does not understand that both of those tools can cause great harm and that there are no do overs when someone dies because you played around. Most people would agree that children need to be taught to use a weapon or an automobile with respect and care. Why then, would we think it okay to encourage reckless use of sex? Teenagers and younger kids do not have the maturity to handle it properly. 

Young people are not stupid. They do make mistakes and wrong choices, however. Instead of giving in and allowing it to happen, teach them what they need to know. Teach them that they need to take responsibility for their actions. This includes financial responsibility.  Encourage them to participate in sports and other activities. Keep their minds and their bodies busy. Trust them yes, because you can't be with them every minute of the day. Keep the lines of communication open. Don't just decide oh well, they're going to do it anyway and then blindly hand them the keys.