It's after five in the morning. Two kittens affectionately known as the Zombie Twins have battled to the tired and are now asleep on my legs. A restless Baby Bear is slowly falling asleep on the other side of my bed after being up since at least three AM and playing musical beds and gigglepalooza in the kitchen. Those are two of his favorite games to play when insomnia strikes. There is nothing inspiring in the kitchen, he was simply avoiding sleeping in his own room and not really wanting to settle down in mine. This is the life of autism that I've come to know lately. This isn't the first insomnia inspired post, and likely won't be the last, either.
We have been working with a caseworker in order to get J qualified for a waiver that would free up money for some of his particular needs, such as a group or host home if he needs it, respite care (much needed), and maybe someone to come into the home to help with his daily care. My dream? Someone who could take the night shift so I'd be more able to manage his day time needs. We aren't so sure that would happen, but as I've said, it's a dream.
We have had well meaning doctors and friends, and even family at times, encourage the Hubs and I to think about placement for J. I will admit that there have been times that something like that would be a blessing. But when it comes right down to it, neither of us want to face that aspect just yet. I know I don't. A chance for J to have community access (translation: day program that gets him out of the house and has the added perk of excursions to restaurants and activities) and respite when we all need a break, yes. Someone else caring for my child 24/7, not. Not yet.
Do I have a problem with other families who choose the option of group homes or host homes(akin to foster homes, but for adults with special needs when a group home isn't suitable, the person cannot live on his own, and family cannot or will not provide care)? Not at all. For a variety of reasons, that conclusion is reached. None of us know what tomorrow holds. The Hubs and I certainly aren't getting any younger. Great health isn't always going to be there. We won't always be there, much as I hate to think about that. And family can't always be counted on to pick up the slack and take in an adult with special needs. These are things that I think about when I'm up nights.
Speaking of my young insomniac child, sleep has finally found him. Dad will need his own rest once he comes in from work in a few hours, so it's time for me to try and get back to dreamland. Have a good morning.