Life With Autism: Meltdowns

The day started out great. J was in a good mood, I was in a great mood, things were getting accomplished. We had to do laundry and get a few groceries so we had lunch out. And the day spiraled down from there.
  He did well at Burger King. Ate everything in sight. Then we went to Wally World. He hates Wal mart. He sat down at the pharmacy area nearly the entire time but he was not happy. We left there and was about to go do laundry. He was still upset so we thought, okay, we'll go get him something to eat because he's acting like he's still hungry. He ignored the chili dog we got him and focused on the hot fudge sundae that I had. 
  He became calmer so we went to the laundromat. Big mistake. Not crowded, but the tv and the machines were loud. His bad  mood was back. Ripped his shirt completely apart, shrieked,  and attacked Jim and one of the windows. Amazingly Jim didnt get  bitten this time, but the window didnt survive. It spider webbed from top to bottom, and this is a large store front window. Yay. I gave him medication to calm him --which apparently did not take effect until we got home; he's in his Archie chair, docile as a lamb. The owner of the laundromat was notified before we left and he has Jim's name and the phone number. So far he hasn't contacted us, but I know it's coming. All I can do is pray for mercy because we can't afford to replace a storefront window at this point.
  Having an adult child with autism is not easy. And that's putting it mildly. The meltdowns don't come often these days but when they do... look out. I don't really know what to do. We were told there is a place that could take J for up to a week at a time when he's out of control. No name, no address, lotta help there.   We could go to the emergency room where they will either give him a shot to calm him down or they put him in an isolation room till he calms down. Neither option is good. We could give up custody and let the state put him in a facility. Not what I want to happen, either.  I suppose we could just stay home with him, take turns going to the grocery store or whatever so he doesn't have to deal with the stress and the public doesnt have to deal with it. I'm not real thrilled with that option either.
  I'm holding on but barely. I know there has to be an answer but for some reason I'm not seeing it. I love my son, but I can't stand autism. I hate what it does to him. I'm angry that he was affected by vaccines and who knows what in the environment. I want answers. I want a cure. I don't want this run around that the government and health officials like to give parents. I want honesty. Most of all, I want to be telepathic so I can read my son's mind. I want to know what he's thinking, what he's feeling. Playing 21 Questions every time he's upset is hard on us both! Somehow I don't think I'm going to get any of those things.
  Don't get me wrong. Most days are great. It's just the meltdowns that wear on me and make me wonder what's best for my son.

The day started out great. J was in a good mood, I was in a great mood, things were getting accomplished. We had to do laundry and get a few groceries so we had lunch out. And the day spiraled down from there.
  He did well at Burger King. Ate everything in sight. Then we went to Wally World. He hates Wal mart. He sat down at the pharmacy area nearly the entire time but he was not happy. We left there and was about to go do laundry. He was still upset so we thought, okay, we'll go get him something to eat because he's acting like he's still hungry. He ignored the chili dog we got him and focused on the hot fudge sundae that I had. 
  He became calmer so we went to the laundromat. Big mistake. Not crowded, but the tv and the machines were loud. His bad  mood was back. Ripped his shirt completely apart, shrieked,  and attacked Jim and one of the windows. Amazingly Jim didnt get  bitten this time, but the window didnt survive. It spider webbed from top to bottom, and this is a large store front window. Yay. I gave him medication to calm him --which apparently did not take effect until we got home; he's in his Archie chair, docile as a lamb. The owner of the laundromat was notified before we left and he has Jim's name and the phone number. So far he hasn't contacted us, but I know it's coming. All I can do is pray for mercy because we can't afford to replace a storefront window at this point.
  Having an adult child with autism is not easy. And that's putting it mildly. The meltdowns don't come often these days but when they do... look out. I don't really know what to do. We were told there is a place that could take J for up to a week at a time when he's out of control. No name, no address, lotta help there.   We could go to the emergency room where they will either give him a shot to calm him down or they put him in an isolation room till he calms down. Neither option is good. We could give up custody and let the state put him in a facility. Not what I want to happen, either.  I suppose we could just stay home with him, take turns going to the grocery store or whatever so he doesn't have to deal with the stress and the public doesnt have to deal with it. I'm not real thrilled with that option either.
  I'm holding on but barely. I know there has to be an answer but for some reason I'm not seeing it. I love my son, but I can't stand autism. I hate what it does to him. I'm angry that he was affected by vaccines and who knows what in the environment. I want answers. I want a cure. I don't want this run around that the government and health officials like to give parents. I want honesty. Most of all, I want to be telepathic so I can read my son's mind. I want to know what he's thinking, what he's feeling. Playing 21 Questions every time he's upset is hard on us both! Somehow I don't think I'm going to get any of those things.
  Don't get me wrong. Most days are great. It's just the meltdowns that wear on me and make me wonder what's best for my son.