Judgement Calls

In the whole bible, besides John 3:16, what verse comes to mind that everyone quotes (and misquotes)? Do not judge. I've heard many, many people use that as a get out of jail free card. "The Bible says don't judge". "Jesus said don't judge". If you ask most of them where that verse is found, they couldn't say. They don't know (nor do some of them care) what the verses surrounding that one says or means. They just know it's in there and that is supposed to end the conversation.  In case you're wondering, here it is: Matthew 7:1 Judge not, that ye be not judged.
      Luk_6:37  Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven:
     Joh_7:24  Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgment.
      In most conversations, the reason that particular phrase is brought up is sin. Someone is committing adultery, having (or had) an abortion, got caught lying, stealing, etc. It doesn't matter. Sin is sin. And while Jesus did say, "Judge not" he was not one to excuse sin or sweep it under the rug. He called out the sinner, pointed it out, and to some he said "Go and sin no more".  He didn't do any of this hatefully or spitefully, but in love. 
  When it comes to sin, God does not tolerate it, whether its a "little" sin or a "big" sin. Truthfully, from God's perspective there is no sin hierarchy. To him it's all the same and we are all guilty of it. We humans were the ones to decide that lying to spare one's feelings is okay and murder is worse than adultery or fornication. 
  So, when we see someone going down the wrong path, should we just look the other way? Pretend it's okay? Not say anything because we don't want to be accused of judging? If I saw a huge 18 wheeler barreling down the highway and you were in it's path unaware, would you want me to tell you? I'm willing to guess that you'd want to know, and you'd want me to help you get out of the way as quickly as possible.  Sin in that 18 wheeler. The end result in both cases is death. 
  When we encounter a situation (sin) that needs addressing, we need to be prayerful and introspective about it. Is my life in order? Am I doing the same thing or something that needs to be taken care of first? Go to the person alone. Do not discuss Susie's adultery with Heather and Jane "out of concern." Talk to Susie about your concerns. Let her know you're worried about her. 
  If Susie repents, great! Continue loving her, continue being there for her. If she doesn't? Continue loving her, continue praying for her, continue being there for her (except in helping her to sin). Go to the church elders or the minister to voice your concern. We should judge the sin, and try to vanquish it from our lives.
  But what if it's not a sin, but a "character flaw"?  Max is overweight, he must not eat healthy or he eats too much. Sally is the world's worst housekeeper. Her place is always a mess; how can she live like that?  Yes folks, that is judging and it is mean, and in this author's opinion it's one of the worst forms of judging. Have a heart, folks! This applies to me as well. I too, have been guilty of criticizing others. 
  Look deeper at the person you are attacking. Is Max really eating only junkfood and lots of it? Is he doing it because he's lonely or depressed? Reach out to him. Be his friend.  And Sally. Why is her house a mess? Is it because she doesn't care and prefers to live in a messy environment, or is there an underlying problem? Perhaps she's overwhelmed and doesn't know where to start. Perhaps she's just too tired to pick up after chasing the kids all day. Maybe she just doesn't have the organization gene that you do. Instead of picking at her or throwing advice or throwing a social worker at her, GO HELP. Offer to take the kids for an hour or two so Sally can get some work done. Shoo her out of the kitchen and wash the dishes for her. Offer her an hour of your time and help her figure out how to organize.  And again, continue loving Max and Sally. Don't go running off to Heather and Jane to discuss it.
  We all have our sins. We all have our character flaws. Help one another. Be someone's life line. But do it in love.

I Love You, But...

I have a habit, like most people, of checking Facebook once or twice a day. I want to see what my family and friends are doing, thinking, posting. One particular friend was on a rant because another friend told her he didn't care for some of the things she posted. I'd be a little perturbed if someone told me they didn't like what I posted. Then again, sometimes I'd be a little shocked that someone actually read any of my postings. I agreed that the person shouldn't have told her that. Personally, I think that's what the delete button is for. Get enough of it, delete the person. Or at least remove the person from your daily feed.
  But my friend said something else. What she said was , if you don't love all of me then delete me. 
    Well, let's think about that for a moment.Can you love every single aspect of a person, as in every part of their life? Can you love the person and not like parts of their lives?
  A popular statement these days just happens to be, if you love me you have to accept all of me. God loves us in the truest form, and He doesn't even do that. He tells us in His Word there are things He cannot and will not abide: lying, adultery, fornication, homosexuality, murder to name a few. Every single person who lives, ever has lived, and ever will live on this earth has sinned or will sin. Does this mean God hates us? Not at all! God loves us, and hates the sin!
  Example two: I love my sister, but she smokes. I don't like that part of her life. If she were to come visit, the cigarettes have to stay outside. The smell makes me ill and I don't want that nasty stuff in my house. Does this mean I don't love my sister or that I love her any less? No way!
  Love isn't and shouldn't be conditional. I don't know anyone who would ever say "I will love you if...". You either love someone or you don't. Conditional love is wrong, on both sides of the street. Telling someone that they have to accept a behavior or activity or they don't love you is just as wrong. Both types of behavior should have been outgrown at least by junior high.
  Bottom line? Facebook, at the end of the day, is really not much more than a virtual "I Love Me" wall. You post on there things that are important to you, that mean something to you. You're sharing yourself in a way that is safe because for the most part, you control who sees "you."  That's the easy part. What you cannot and should not even try to control is how someone feels when they see what you post. Some will like it, others won't. Some will hit the delete button and move on, some will give feedback. Those we have on our friends list are there for a reason. While sometimes it is our first instinct to get angry and defensive when someone disagrees, perhaps we should just go ahead and talk with the person. Learn something. Gain a new perspective. Or just shrug and agree to disagree on that point. 
    Love one another as we are commanded. Jesus is our greatest example of how to love. He loved the people. He didn't love what they did.